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Today's Toons 1/31/22


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  


White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reacted to the Supreme Court ruling saying they will continue to encourage vaccine mandates. Joe Biden wasn't alarmed by the six-to-three vote against him, and refused to concede defeat. He's still waiting for the postman to deliver the mail-in opinions.  


Ghislaine Maxwell was moved to her own cell after her conviction for pimping underage girls for Jeffrey Epstein and his unnamed powerful political friends. She knows them all. Next week, I fully expect to hear that Ghislaine Maxwell just died in her jail cell from a self-inflicted missile strike.  


The Labor Department published its consumer price index Wednesday showing inflation rose in December at the highest rate in forty years. Yesterday, I was robbed at gunpoint while pushing a wheelbarrow full of cash to the grocery store. The robber left me the cash and took the wheelbarrow.  


The London Times ran an article touting Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg as a possible Democratic Party savior in 2024. In the latest Gallup poll, Pete Buttigieg has the highest job approval of everyone in the Biden Administration. It’s like being the best dressed person at WalMart.  


The White House was pressed by reporters Friday asking if President Biden’s low poll numbers mean he’ll just serve one term. The press secretary countered that Biden is preparing for another successful presidential run. In preparation for the campaign, he’s updating the decor in his basement.  


The Hollywood Reporter said the newly released film Scream, a revival of the Nineties horror movie franchise, was a hit. In it, a ghost-faced killer keeps coming back from the dead to murder anyone who gets in its way. In related news, Hillary Clinton is considering another run for president.  


A Texas synagogue was taken hostage by an Islamist terrorist who'd just arrived from London Friday and demanded the release of an Al Qaeda prisoner. Thankfully, no hostages were hurt and he was shot and killed. Nobody believed the FBI's first story blaming the attack on Trump supporters.  


The White House is set to buy the brand-new safe Covid masks for every American. The masks are good for only two days and sold to the U.S. by China, who gave us the virus in the first place. Whether this is horrible or brilliant depends on whether you majored in Arts and Science or Business.  


Vladimir Putin accelerated tensions in Europe over the weekend by announcing that Russia, as a military preparatory drill, is going to stage a fake attack on itself. Intelligence sources say they got the idea from Jussie Smollett. They are just waiting for the Subway franchise to be approved.  


- - Argus Hamilton  


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17 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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