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Today's Toons 3/22/21


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

President Biden began having mental lapses at the White House press podium again last week causing concerns. Last week, Biden went to see a chiropractor, who saw his X-rays and referred him to a paleontologist. They wanted to carbon date him, but he refused, saying he's already married. 

President Biden addressed reporters at the White House Wednesday, reviewing his attempts to have the entire country vaccinated by the end of May. His handlers don't let him take questions. To illustrate why, President Biden said he won't give a State of the Union speech until he's sworn in. 

President Biden refused to call the thousands of Central American kids approaching the U.S. border a crisis Wednesday. He then whirled and walked off. Watching him clench his teeth and grimace onstage, you can never tell if Joe Biden is giving a speech or if he just soiled another diaper. 

Staples reports a sign of the country's growing optimism Monday by announcing that the sale of 2021 monthly planners are way up. It's all very organized. According to this year's calendar, February is Black History Month then followed by March, which is Andrew Cuomo Is History Month. 

Oprah Winfrey spoke with Duchess Meghan about her rift with the Royal Family Sunday. To show there are no hard feelings, the Queen just invited Meghan to fly back to London to make up with the Royals. They even hired Tiger Woods to pick her up at the airport and drive her to the Palace. 

Kansas University put football Coach Les Miles on leave after reports rose of alleged misconduct toward female students when he coached at LSU ten years ago. It's serious. If convicted of sexual misbehavior behavior toward young women, he could get four to eight years as governor of New York. 

Joe Biden caught heat for his policy allowing a flood of illegals to cross the border. It's one of two things. Either Biden is getting a push from Obama, who has said he supports cross-border migration because it'll make America less white, or Joe thinks he was elected President of Coca-Cola. 

Boise, Idaho, held a huge public rally Saturday night in which thousands of residents burned their face masks upon the state re-opening. The media was not amused. CNN just called for Idaho to be banned from the map because if you turn the state sideways, it looks just like an assault weapon. 

The White House canceling six Dr. Seuss books resulted in ten Dr. Seuss's books topping the Amazon sales charts. People hate censorship. I think the Seuss book that most angered Democrat Progressives was his latest story book, One Fish, Two Fish, Epstein Did Not Kill Himself, Blue Fish. 

President Biden's approval rating began slipping over the border crisis and the cancel culture last week. However here in West Hollywood, devotion to the Democratic Party is unwavering. My neighbor just named his new Jeep the Elizabeth Warren because it's white and calls itself a Cherokee. 

Oprah Winfrey's interview with Meghan Sunday about her complaints of mistreatment by the Royal Family did not draw sympathy in a pandemic-stricken America and England. An actress complains to a billionaire about the racism she suffers as a Duchess. How our hearts all bleed for her. 

The U.S. Senate passed a slightly revised version of the Covid Relief Bill passed in the House of Representatives last week and sent it back to the House for final approval before the two trillion dollar bill is signed by the president. Deep down, they are all good people. I think six feet should do it. 

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo released a tear-filled apology in a video Saturday saying that he was sorry he ever made his three women accusers feel uncomfortable. However, it didn't end there. On Sunday two more young women piled on Cuomo, which was always one of his fantasies. 

President Biden ripped state governors who are opening up their states and relaxing Covid rules Friday and called it Neanderthal thinking. On the other hand, we all know public safety comes in many forms. Texas has abolished the mask mandate in an attempt to scare the Californians away. 

President Biden defended the Covid Relief Bill's price tag and said he plans to sign it. Perhaps it was no coincidence that a White House security guard was stitched up after being attacked by the president's dog. Republicans claim that Biden's election has only begun to bite people in the arse. 

Thailand's prime minister went nuts at a press conference Tuesday when a reporter asked him about a cabinet change. He sprayed the front row of reporters with an alcohol mist and told them to mind their own business. He swiftly got a Facebook message from Governor Cuomo asking him if it worked. 

Meghan was ripped by London tabloids Thursday for taking Harry away and breaking up the Royal Family. It's safe to say she embraces change. Three years ago, Meghan was sixth lead on a cable TV drama, then she married Harry and became Duchess of Sussex, and today she's Woko Ono. 

The Pentagon announced Monday it will now pay for the medical expenses of any U.S. soldier who wants to undergo gender reassignment surgery. That's just the start. Next, Hollywood plans to make a World War II movie about a combat hero who's transgender called Changing Ryan's Privates. 

Matthew McConaghey confirmed that he's interested in running for Governor of Texas. He's not the only movie star who's in career transition. Pepe LePew will not be in Space Jam Two, because he's too busy fighting six hundred thirty-five sexual harassment lawsuits dating back to 1947. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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51 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!

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