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Today's Toons 10/5/20


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

Anderson Cooper moderated a CNN town hall for Joe Biden in his home town of Scranton in front of thirty-five cars in a parking lot. It wasn't exactly brutal. I watched and I was furious that two of the questions did not quite have the ten-foot arc on them as required by the rules of slow pitch. 

Pennsylvania officials decided to allow mail-in ballots to be counted all the way up to two weeks after the election. Only a nationwide blowout can prevent chaos. Pennsylvania has screwed up the mail-in ballots so badly that experts are predicting our 41st president will be Al Gore. 

NFL fans flooded social media Monday with complaints about the pre-game ceremonies. Last week, the Carolina Panthers fired their Spanish-language broadcaster because he posted his support for Trump. Of course, it could've been worse. He could have expressed support for the police. 

President Trump surged to fifty-three percent job approval rating Friday as Joe Biden visited Minnesota and Pennsylvania to shore up support. Politics is always at the mercy of events. For instance, we learned that it looks like Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be voting by mail this year. 

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's passing raised the stakes of the election in November. The brilliant jurist was kind enough to leave us with a miracle. She's been gone for five days and the Democrats still haven't blamed it on the police, global warming, Trump or Covid. 

Melania Trump led the administration's tributes to the life and career of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Democrats insist RGB's dying wish was to be replaced by whoever wins the presidential election. Does this mean we have to grant Biden's dying wish that he wins the presidential election? 

President Trump told a cheering crowd in North Carolina he will appoint a woman judge to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court. Already three Democrats have come forward to say they were sexually assaulted by whoever Trump nominates. 

Governor Gavin Newsom profusely thanked President Trump to his face for swift federal help in battling the wildfires. It doesn't alter his policy. The Newsom Doctrine states that if an arsonist starts a fire in a city it's a peaceful protest, but if he starts a fire in the forest, it's a climate emergency. 

President Trump's peace deal between Serbia and Kosovo was followed by the peace deal between Israel and the UAE. Nevertheless, he'll never win the Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel Peace Prize committee informed President Trump he hasn't launched enough drone strikes to qualify. 

The Labor Department forecast big fourth quarter job growth in the U.S. There is always workplace risk to consider when you take a job. According to a poll, Americans rate the three toughest jobs in the country as policemen, firefighter, and the sign language interpreter for Joe Biden. 

President Trump teased Joe Biden for using a Teleprompter to answer pre-submitted questions from reporters at his press conferences. Biden heatedly denied he had to use a Teleprompter for all his public statements from onstage. Joe looked the camera in the eye and said, low battery warning. 

West Hollywood hosted a huge BLM protest and dance party in the middle of the intersection of Santa Monica Boulevard and Robertson Saturday night. I can't figure out corona virus. On one hand it disproportionately targets blacks, but on the other hand, it takes time off for BLM protests. 

Spaceflight Now reports that NASA is laying out a twenty-eight billion dollar plan to submit to Congress that will return U.S. astronauts to the lunar surface in four years. Officials at NASA said that Trump is serious about putting a woman on the moon. And that woman is Nancy Pelosi. 

The Emmy Awards had the host, the nominees, the recipients and Hollywood audience appear online. You have to hand it to us. The West Coast is on fire, the world is in a pandemic, the nation's six weeks away from civil war, and Hollywood still figured out a way to give itself awards. 

A Pennsylvania federal judge ruled Pennsylvania's business shutdown orders and ban on public gatherings is unconstitutional. Judicial activism will always be with us. Yesterday a Hawaii federal judge ruled that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not allowed to die during an election year. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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16 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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