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Thoughts from the ammo line


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Scott Johnson

Apr. 12 2019

Ammo Grrrll is happily MARRIED TO AN ENTHUSIAST. She writes:

We are now in our tenth year of living in Arizona. Before that we “wintered” in San Diego for two years and then Palm Springs for ten. I would notice groups of men lingering over coffee in the upscale supermarket. These were married retirees, men who had clearly been kicked out of their small winter condos by wives who probably loved them dearly but desperately needed some solitude, some “space.” (I suppose it is also possible that the men were just as happy to escape briefly from their wives, but in my experience, men can just turn up the television and pretend we aren’t even there. Hypothetically.)

A friend has a pillow in his office, a needlepointed message that says bluntly: “Retirement means half the income and twice the husband.”


My experience with the very smart people it has been my privilege to know is that the very smart – not at all to be confused with the merely “edumacated” — are almost NEVER bored, unless stuck in an airport with CNN shrieking hatefully at them. If they max out on one thing, the very smart will just go ahead and teach themselves another language or learn to crochet or fly a plane or design a giant model railroad or make their own ammo or make a spreadsheet inventorying all their ammo, or manage their Fantasy Baseball Teams or do Mensa-level Sudoku with math involved.

My former “yard guy,” with his 5th grade formal education, could fix anything. He had a very hard life, but was always joyful and grateful. He sang to the plants! He was lightyears smarter than almost any talking head on television prattling on about whatever talking point memo the DNC put out that morning. Hey, kids, is it “the beginning of the end” again, or are the “walls closing in”? Are we Nazis today or in the pocket of Putin? Idiots!

Perhaps it is a mercy on the part of the Lord to make the dull-witted also short on self-awareness so that they don’t get embarrassed when they say things like that there is no difference between the Berlin Wall – which, of course, kept imprisoned people IN, and the Gaza Wall, which keeps vile terrorists OUT. Or rail against “tactile” nuclear weapons. Luckily, the terminally-stupid often have extreme arrogance to compensate for minimal brains.


I think most very smart people are also joyful, happy to be alive in such an interesting world. Can you even begin to imagine how tedious it must be to be in a relationship with the wretched crop of angry, entitled, spittle-emitting, miserable boring haters that populate all of cable and network television, Hollywood, and most of Twitter? What sane man could even look at a wife dragging around a bloody beheaded likeness of another human being, let alone the President?

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