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Thoughts from the ammo line


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Scott Johnson

July 7 2017

Ammo Grrrll declares that that this is NOT MY FIRST RODEO. It’s not the first time she has made a joke at my expense either. She writes:

 

Oh, wait! It WAS! Mr. AG and I recently visited Prescott, AZ, where it is about 15-20 degrees cooler, on average, than back in the Dusty Little Village. Prescott hosts The World’s Oldest Rodeo every summer and we bought tickets to one of the nights. Mr. AG thought we should go two nights in a row, so the second night we could finally say, “This is not my first rodeo,” and be telling the truth.

Anyway, I loved it. And what’s not to love? Pageantry, patriotism, and pathetically-unhealthy snacks! Plus prayer. The entire Clinger trifecta. We were experiencing a dangerous wildfire in the very near vicinity and the whole crowd bowed to pray for the firefighters.

Rodeo is clearly a family event. There were hordes of young children there, sporting hats and boots and one adorable little fellow, maybe three years old, holding Daddy’s hand and wearing a t-shirt that said, “Not my first rodeo.”

There were many stands and booths with clothing on offer sporting such sentiments as “Cowgirls don’t cry. They reload.” The parking lot was a Sea of Silverados with nary an “I’m With HER” bumper sticker in sight. Which certainly set it apart from the Minneapolis airport or even the Trader Joe’s across the street from our hotel.

 

(Snip)

 

There was a veteran emcee whose job it was to fill dead air every second. He told a funny joke which I will include here for free. He used his colleagues in the joke, and so will I.

John, Paul and Scott are (God Forbid!) in an unfortunate accident and go to Heaven. They are surprised to learn that in Heaven they will be assigned new wives. John’s new wife is shockingly unattractive and he asks why. “Well,” says St. Peter, “once you cheated on your taxes.” Paul steps up and his new wife makes Scott’s look like Marilyn Monroe. Turns out one time he also cheated on his taxes. Scott is thrilled to find he has been assigned a beautiful, shapely blonde! When he asks St. Peter how he got so lucky, Pete says, “She cheated on her taxes.”

 

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