Thoughts from the ammo line

[Valin]

Power Line:

Scott Johnson

June 5, 2015

 

FYEO: Reply All. Top Secret DNC Memo From Debbi Wasserman-Test Schultz

 

Leaked by the Norks

 

It appears that Hillary is in freefall and we may need some kind of backup plan in case the campaign season entails her actually having to appear in public sometime in the next 17 months. And Gawd forbid, having to answer questions. So, am in process of designing multimedia campaign for alternatives. Need slogans for all candidates, plus an overall theme. Remember, we’re spitballin’ here – no bad ideas. We will undoubtedly never equal Hope and Change for vague words people like that have one syllable. (What are you “Hoping” for? What’s gonna “Change”? Nobody asked!! Amazing! Let’s repeat that, people!)

 

Though some of these words have multiple syllables, they all tested well in focus groups. People liked Puppies and Porn; but Cupcakes and Free Sh*t did best of all. Trying to get artist who designed halo for Dear Leader to do a nifty cupcake.

 

Here are a few ideas for our first group of possible candidates. More will follow:

 

ELIZABETH

 

With Dear Leader calling her just by her first name, we are thinking that must be cool. Like, you know, Yanni, Cher, Sting. Fabian. Campaign slogans:

 

Elizabeth: Come for the Uterus; Stay For The High Cheek Bones!

Elizabeth: Just As Radical as Bernie and Not a White Man!

Elizabeth: Remember How Well It Went With the Last One-Term Senator?

Elizabeth: She’ll carry Massachusetts and Minnesota!

 

Campaign Song: “Cherokee Maiden” by Willie Nelson. Many have suggested that a country singer could peel off votes from the Crazy Gun Nut Redneck Taliban Wing of the Republican party. (Not that I’m suggesting in any “high horse” kinda way that the Taliban are as bad as the Tea Party; they are just unemployed, not evil.)

 

(Snip)