The Adventures of the Tylenol Kid

[Valin]

Ricochet:

Dave Carter

6/1/13

 

When I think of the vast distance covered in recent days, the adventures and misadventures, I want to go lie down. These were my thoughts yesterday while lying down, flat on my back, on the floor of the trailer staring up and checking to see if anything was broken. "Are you okay, sir?" one of the delightful young ladies called out from the back of the trailer. "Yes," I said. "I fell and thought I'd rest as long as I was down here."

 

Like leftist political theory, or the myriad schemes cooked by fertile and boundless imaginations in ivory towers and climate controlled cubicles, this load assignment looked a lot better on paper than did its application on the ground. After a lovely time spent in the American northwest, the load assignment called for me to pick up a fully loaded trailer of assorted retail merchandise in the Seattle area Tuesday at lunch, and have it in Omaha, Nebraska first thing Friday morning. In total, some 1,700 miles would be covered in very short order, necessitating at least 600 miles driven per day and work days that would start around 3AM. A tall order, but workable nonetheless.

 

The catch? Delivery would be to three separate stores on Friday (yesterday), two in Omaha and one in Sioux City, Iowa, and said deliveries would be "driver hand unload." The merchandise was stacked floor to ceiling, from the front and 53 feet back to the trailer doors. "Stacked" is not quite the right word. "Thrown," haphazardly would be more appropriate. There was no truck pallet, or "dolly" to use. Instead, boxes of all sizes, shapes and weights, along with furniture, tables, entertainment centers, rugs, bed rails, vases, mirrors, and much, much more were piled as if by a tornado. Total weight of freight for this "driver hand unload" experience was 16,000 pounds. You do see where this is going, no?

 

(Snip)