The More Precise Life of Julia

[Geee]

PJMedia:

The Obama campaign has created a slideshow depicting how the government can help a woman named Julia throughout her life and how all of that would be ruined if Mitt Romney were elected instead. You may think a perfectly capable woman wouldn’t need constant government support, but you’re very, very wrong and stupid and lack foresight. That’s why Obama has unveiled his vision for the future, inspired by 1984, a most forward-thinking book which details the story of a man overcoming his right-wing, anti-government concerns and learning to embrace a progressive future where the government helps him plan his life. It’s a bold idea that will finally fulfill the dreams of our forefathers, who once packed up all their things and headed west seeking a new government that would provide for all their needs.

Of course, what Obama has published about Julia is only a rough draft of what he has planned. He has since sat down with futurists, science fiction authors, and hippy drug addicts to come up with even more precise details of what life will be like for Julia if America chooses to re-elect Obama versus the horror that awaits her if Mitt Romney is elected.

AGE 3

 

Under President Obama: Julia is enrolled in Obama’s new, heavily modified Head Start program. When it is determined that her parents are too inadequate and/or fundamentalist, she is adopted by the government. Her name is legally changed from Julia Smith to the more precise Julia Female B34Z5R79.

Under Mitt Romney: Julia gets no special Head Start program. Having no way to learn anything without government help, she eventually drinks a gallon of paint.

AGE 7

Under President Obama: Julia’s education is going well, and she receives a personalized form letter from president/father Obama that he is pleased with her progress. Knowing government loves and cares for her gives Julia the confidence she needs to succeed.

Under Mitt Romney: Julia goes to a crazed Christian school, thanks to vouchers funded by cutting NPR from the budget. Republicans run rampant and cut other necessary government programs, such as cowboy poetry festivals, and young Julia shudders as she feels society collapsing around her.

[saveliberty]

Op-Ed Columnist

 

The Party of Julia

 

By ROSS DOUTHAT

 

Published: May 5, 2012

 

 

A WEEK ago the Obama re-election campaign unveiled a slogan for the fall campaign — its answer to Ronald Reagan’s “Morning in America,” Bill Clinton’s “bridge to the 21st century,” and other successful re-election pitches. There were reports that the slogan-writing process had been a struggle for the White House, and the final product bore those rumors out. “Forward,” the Obama campaign will be declaiming to Americans, which feels like a none-too-subtle admission that a look backward at the Obama economic record might be bad news for the president’s re-election prospects.

 

 

 

Josh Haner/The New York Times

 

Ross Douthat

But maybe the White House doesn’t need a slogan. After all, it has a person instead: a composite character who’s been the talk of Washington these last few days, and whose imaginary life story casts the stakes in this presidential campaign into unusually sharp relief.

[Valin]

[Pepper]

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