Osama bin Laden a Year Later

[Geee]

American Spectator:

WASHINGTON -- It has now been a year since Osama bin Laden became a ghost courtesy of the United States SEALs. I had long since come to the conclusion that Osama became crêpes suzette for the worms back in Tora Bora in December 2001, and I was somewhat stubborn in my belief. Yet he fooled me and the student of Araby Mark Steyn and a few other pundits. I shall be a big enough man to admit it. I was wrong.

Apparently Osama took up residence in the wilds of Pakistan, where he believed he was safe. Doubtless like-minded pietists in the Pakistani army or intelligence community told him he would be safe there. They were doubtless proud of their world-famous tenant. Well, they were asleep on the night of May 2, 2011, or they had the good sense not to get involved. When the U.S. helicopters swooped in Osama was pitifully exposed. He had no guards that we know of, save a few women. Several doors collapsed before our tough troops, and pop, he was on his way to the 72 virgins in Heaven or the 42 cows or whatever the Muslim theologians estimate the Hereafter to be composed of. At any rate I am glad he is gone, and doubtless you are too.

Now we know he spent his last days reading licentious literature and mixing up potions not unlike the West's miracle drug, Viagra. Also we hear from intelligence reports that he was heavily into Just For Men, another diabolical potion that originates with the hated West. He did not stay particularly fit. There was no jogging or windsurfing or bungee jumping for him, as there is with select American politicians. There was just the womenfolk all around. Sometimes he doubtless admonished them with a good scolding or perhaps a stick. According to the Islamic specialist Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thani in his Islamic bestseller A Gift for Muslim Couples, a husband can resort to "a stick," can deny money and even "pull" his wife "by the ears." Still, it is no substitute for a good workout at the gym.

Other morsels of intelligence were found in his redoubt in historic Abbottabad, the felicitously named town in which he breathed his last. He kept computers, another Western gadget, and doubtless pens and pencils, again Western utensils. On his hard drives the U.S. has discovered valuable intelligence. Frankly, I doubt our intelligence community has been candid with us. But from what we have been told his group al Qaeda has laid plans for the long haul. They have a strategy for making pests of themselves in Afghanistan once our heroic president vamooses. And they are setting up operations in romantic places like Yemen. Moreover, they recently allied with al-Shabab, a terrorist group in Somalia.

[Valin]

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