Sucks being you

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Sucks being you

 

March 7, 2012 | Filed under Barack Obama | Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic

I don’t remember the exact circumstances under which she said it. She was a bleached-blonde chick I knew back in those Halcyon days when we were both studying at my beloved alma mater, North Central Texas State College of Misogyny and Racism. She deftly batted away whatever trifling whinge I had that day with a deadpan, “It must suck being you.” How quaint. How magnificent. I don’t believe anyone has ever told me to shut up and bugger off quite as succinctly.

She meant it that way. That’s not how I actually took it. Her words triggered a lightning-quick bout of introspection. Sucks being me? Born in America as a white male in a two parent household. Soon-to-be college graduate with dual majors in Vote Suppression and Xenophobia. Heir to the vast Von Ottomatic used car wrecking yard/black market whiskey empire. Sucks being me? I won the Powerball of life at the moment of conception. It is awesome being me.

Where she was freaking spot on, though, is that nobody wants to hear some dumbass lament their stupidity and self-suffering misery that results. Anything I could have been bitching about back in college was almost surely self-inflicted. It’s easy to be a liberal in college. You’re living in a world where your worst problem doesn’t make the give-a-damn meter of 99% of the people in the world. I figured that out early