Last Protester Standing

[Geee]

American Spectator:


ABC television has just announced that it will unveil a new survivor reality series, "Occupy Whatever!" based on the popular Occupy movement that has popped up in scores of cities across America and is proving to have universal appeal -- not just in the U.S. but also London. (A new group calling itself Occupy Tahiti has just emerged in Papeete, protesting a 2.3 decline in orchid production. A further outrage is that a major Tahitian export, vanilla, is owned by one percent of Tahitians.)

"We think this thing has real legs," said Jarvis T. Bimstein, vice president of reality programming at ABC-TV. "We even test-marketed a couple of Occupy Whatever! shows in Duluth, Minn., and Vallejo, Calif., that had great numbers. It's going to be the next big thing on TV."
The concept, as Bimstein explains it, would be to see which protester ends up surviving the longest in all the encampments around America (licensed by the network) that have begun to attract diverse demonstrators -- freelance homeless people, colorful drug addicts, gifted sidewalk performers, unemployed sign-painters, radical college professors, and random loonies.

The movement has engaged the public and fascinated the press, whose non-stop coverage of the Occupy movement first suggested to Bimstein that there just might be a TV series in the phenomenon. "We decided to strike now while the country's attention is still riveted on the actual Occupiers," he said.

The cast of the pilot show, comprised of protesters drawn at random from actual encampments, will set up their tents and attempt to out-last each other while fending off mock police raids that want to shut them down, adding to the dramatic impact.

Those demonstrators voted off the park or plaza will be forced to leaver the encampment, but not before delivering a snarky comment or two about their fellow survivor hopefuls. On the test-marketed Duluth show, semi-finalist Dotty Cranshaw, 34, endured a brutal early-winter snowstorm, a robbery, several sexual predators and a rabid pit bull in the adjoining tent. Cranshaw lasted six weeks with only a small he plate, a few blankets, and a well-thumbed copy of People magazine.

When her plight was featured on YouTube, Cranshaw was contacted by ABC-TV and asked if she would be willing to appear on "Occupy Whatever!" As Bimstein recalled, "She told me, 'Hey, dude, why not? It's a pay day.'" After signing a routine release form, Cranshaw was flown to Hollywood to appear on the debut "Occupy Whatever!" show that begins Dec. 15 at 9 pm/8 Central.

[nickydog]

Ugh. I probably won't watch.

[clearvision]

I assume this is a joke, but the author never really makes it clear, other than being over the top.