Young people crave self-esteem more than sex

[WestVirginiaRebel]

MSNBC:

Young people crave boosts to their self-esteem more than sex and money, according to a new study.

Researchers from Ohio State University and Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton, New York found that college students rated receiving compliments, or doing well on a test, above such pleasurable activities such as sex, receiving a paycheck, seeing a friend, or eating their favorite food.

Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University, said the findings should raise red flags about the role of self-esteem in society.

"It wouldn't be correct to say that the study participants were addicted to self-esteem," said Bushman, who headed the research team. "But they were closer to being addicted to self-esteem than they were to being addicted to any other activity we studied."

He said he and his team were shocked by the findings.

"We purposely chose things that we thought college students love. Most of the participants were around 19. College students love drinking, they love sex. They are poor; they love money and getting a paycheck."

But experiences that boosted self-esteem trumped all other rewards, according to the study.

Bushman said the findings, which are published online by the Journal of Personality, suggest that many young people may be a little too focused on pumping up their self-esteem.

"I think that people are looking for a quick fix to complex problems," he explained. "We see it as a cure-all to every social ill, from teen pregnancy to violence. People think that if only we feel better about ourselves, these things would not happen."
________

This is what happens when you raise a generation that gets congratulated just for having been born.

[ErnstBlofeld]

But do you gain self esteem while having sex?

[Pepper]

But do you gain self esteem while having sex?

 

ErnstBlofeld

 

That depends if you rise to the occasion.

 

 

[WestVirginiaRebel]

But do you gain self esteem while having sex?

 

If you don't have one, chances are you'll never get the other...

[SrWoodchuck]

Whoa, I get a different reaction to this post, from MSLSD.

 

Drinking, wasted money & responsible, but "feel-good" sex should be a part of youth, leading to the inevitable "long-horrible-slide-into-maturity."

 

Instead we have 19 year olds that would rather have an ego-stroking? Disturbing. How secular progressive.

 

 

Ernst! I don't approach sex as a way to gain self-esteem; since it hasn't ever been just about me.

 

I guess I've been fortunate/unfortunate to have loved every person that I've had sex with, in my life.

 

Still, it's better than booze, drugs or money.....IMO!

 

But do you gain self esteem while having sex?

[pollyannaish]

You know, I read this completely differently—which I suppose would be unsurprising since I appear to be the only woman on the thread.

 

But. I think the reporting may be a result of our self-esteem driven culture and the underlying assumptions erroneous.

 

I think you can easily turn these results on their head.

 

The things that college students supposedly love— plenty of sex, lots of drinking, blowing money and hanging out—are all fairly transient, not particularly productive activities. (I have basic suspicions that students may not "love" these things as much as the "researchers" think, but I digress.) Each of these things is tied to instant gratification and irresponsible behavior.

 

In any case, students said they liked/wanted getting a good result on a test, or a compliment more than they liked these instant gratification items. And this the measure by which the researchers determined their mental health.

 

Well. I think it's natural to want to get a good grade on a test. You WORK for that. You delay gratification to get that. And you know that getting that grade will help you in the future. That in turn, boosts your self esteem...naturally. It seems to me that wanting to work hard and get a good grade would be preferable in society than drinking yourself under the table and hooking up with the next hot chick that wandered past. No?

 

And the receiving a compliment thing. You know, when it comes right down to it, a TRUE compliment, meaningfully delivered helps us feel that we belong, helps us understand when we are doing well, makes us feel like we matter. There is nothing narcissistic about that. And it's a heck of a lot better than making a lot of money. I mean, I put myself in the place of the test taker, and I want to know I am doing a good job MUCH more than I want to make money. I've done the second without the first and it is miserable.

 

It is not a sign of narcissism to want those things over instant gratification. It would seem to me to be a sign of maturity and seeking to belong.

 

We're not talking about expecting to be the best at everything and always the center of attention and having every little thing praised even when it is undeserved. That would be a different story.

 

In any case, I think this is a ridiculous test. And back to the assumptions. When I was in college, I purposely saved myself for marriage. I didn't drink. The vast majority of my money went to pay my school bill. If I had taken this test, I would have registered as an extreme narcissist because I didn't do all the things that "college students love." I have a feeling that I am not alone in this and there are a lot more of us out here than people suspect. Frat houses, and Glee-like behavior may be great on TV, but most of the real college students I've met are far more serious than one might suspect from the stereotypes. And my suspicion is they are, perhaps, the least narcissistic among us.

[ErnstBlofeld]

But do you gain self esteem while having sex?

 

ErnstBlofeld

 

That depends if you rise to the occasion.

 

 

 

Believe me, I have risen to the occasion and conquered. That is why they have come back for more with no complaints.Veni,Vidi,Vici.

 

 

Mambo Number 5!

[Valin]

Of course I'll respect you in the morning.

[SrWoodchuck]

Of course I'll respect you in the morning.

.......and the check is in the mail...........

 

However........I thought the self-portrait very accurate & colorful. Kudos.