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Today's Toons 4/22/24


pookie18

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pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  

Bobby Kennedy horrified CNN Tuesday when he told a CNN interviewer the threat to democracy is Biden, not Trump. I understand CNN's horror. My father always said the only newspaper he reads is the Daily Oklahoman, because he doesn't want his mind to be cluttered up by opposing points of view. 

US seismologists blamed NY's earthquake on a new tectonic crack beneath the Earth's surface they've named Trump's Fault. 

The New York Times headlined that the earthquake effects were felt unequally. That squatters and asylum seekers were harmed the most. 

President Biden reassured Israel today we fully intend to get rid of Hamas and replace it with Guacamole. 

The solar eclipse did two things Washington DC politicians can't do. It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to. 

The Wall Street Journal said the eclipse gave Americans chance to behold the universe together and set aside our partisan differences for the day. However it seems there's always one skunk at the picnic. Progressives protested in front of the White House all day Monday demanding an eclipse vaccine. 

The New York Post reports an earthquake struck New Jersey Thursday as the ground and buildings shook in New York. Seismologists took a few days to figure out that what New Yorkers felt was not an earthquake. It was just the sound of another busload of illegal immigrants hitting the streets. 

The National Earthquake Center in Maryland quickly measured Friday's New York earthquake at 4.8 magnitude. A scientific debate followed on the earthquake's cause. Some say it was caused by shifting tectonic plates while others say it happened when The Ladies of The View all sat down at the same time. 

President Biden traveled to Baltimore on Friday to get a first-hand look at the sunken Francis Scott Key Bridge. It was collapsed by a container ship that struck it last week. The president stood on the dock and made a speech lamenting the disaster, but this was no place to talk about his poll numbers. 

Donald Trump mobbed by adoring women at a Georgia chicken shack. Never underestimate the sexual power of a good mugshot in the South. 

Fox News declared that Americans were united by the eclipse that did something politicians are unable to do. It slowed down global warming and gave us all something to look up to. Joe Biden came outside and saw his shadow and then tripped over it, and that means six more weeks of slapstick comedy. 

President Biden trailed in the polls in all the swing states Thursday, raising the prospect that Joe could lose the election this fall. His rhetorical skills provide comedians like me our daily bread. Reacting to last week's big news President Biden expressed his wishes that Homer Simpson rest in peace. 

Democrats doing all they can to keep RFK Jr. off the ballot. Not only did Biden refuse to give Bobby Secret Service protection, he's considering pardoning Sirhan Sirhan. 

Don't complain about your life. There are people literally living in California. 

Anti-Israel agitators last week tried to shut down Senate cafeteria. Capitol police diffused the situation by having all the protesters admitted to Harvard. 

Israel acting with U.S. military aid shot down hundreds of missiles headed to Israel Saturday fired by Iran. Consequentially diversity, equity and inclusion can only go so far. I'm afraid the reason that there are no Iranians on the crew of the Starship Enterprise is because Star Trek is set in the future. 

President Biden confidently declared Thursday that he will defeat Trump in November and save democracy. The bad news is inflation numbers reported that day continue to soar in both retail and wholesale prices. The good news is, O.J. Simpson can finally rest, knowing that his wife's killer is dead. 

Donald Trump campaigned in Georgia and went to a Chick-Fil-A and bought thirty milkshakes for everyone. He was seen on TV being mobbed by adoring black women who might have seen his mug shot. All the Democrats had to do was make him a Fulton County gangster and the magic just happened. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

 

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pookie18
5 hours ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome & the same to you, mass55th!

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pookie18
5 hours ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

My pleasure, Rcat!

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pookie18
2 hours ago, MISBAILEY said:

Thanks Pookie!😁

You're welcome, as always, MISBAILEY!

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