Today's Toons 4/1/24

[pookie18]

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
 

In Case You Missed It Dept.:  

Joe Biden hosts the Easter egg roll Monday. It's traditional that the first roll be when he steps onto the lawn. 

The White House is expecting 20,000 people for Monday's Easter Egg Roll. President Biden said he would rather have fried rice. 

Advil video claims it can reduce the pain caused by systemic racism. Finally a pill that blocks CNN on your cable box. 

CNN reports Elon Musk launched a rocket into outer space yesterday in an effort to spread hate speech to the Galaxy. 

President Biden campaigned in Michigan Thursday while Trump kept a court date in Florida. Biden faces a tough race in big cities due to the crime rate enabled by lenient district attorneys and no bail policies. In four years, New York has gone from Defund the Police to Bring in the National Guard. 

The House sent the Senate a bill whipped up by the US security services to ban TikTok if they don't exit its Chinese holding company. They say China uses TikTok to distort information in order to brainwash Americans for their own political purposes. Who does TikTok they think they are, the CIA? 

Donald Trump was accused of threatening a bloodbath by the media for saying China sneaking cars into the U.S. through Mexico would cause a bloodbath of U.S. autoworker job losses. It may never end. Then the media said Trump wants to start a nuclear war by warning that inflation could mushroom. 

Forbes magazine reports Elon Musk is developing spy satellites for the Pentagon and launching them into space aboard his Space X rockets. He changed the name of Twitter to X. Last week a deal between Elon and Don Lemon fell apart when Lemon demanded that X change its name to Malcolm X. 

Haitian police are reportedly engaged in a street war with the gang of cannibals that took over the capital city. It's caused thousands to flee the island by boat. The State Department insisted that none of the cannibals have reached the United States, but the administration's DEI staff is working on it. 

NBC News says President Biden shouted and swore at his aides in the Oval Office who brought him poll numbers Friday and told him Arizona and Georgia are lost. Joe really bit their heads off. It looks like Major and Commander were evicted from the White House for committing learned behavior. 

President Biden's aides leaked Monday he's angry his aides keep him cooped up and prevented from engaging openly with Trump, the press and the public. His aides are holding back a tiger, we can all see that. In a related story, Kim Jung Un carded four holes-in-one and shot down a UFO Sunday. 

If the newspaper was the evolution of the town crier, Tik Tok is the evolution of the town drunk. 

The Hollywood Reporter sounded a warning about the alarmingly low movie ticket sales at the box office. Fans are weary of remakes, DEI casting and comic book movies. This week The American Society of Magical Negroes is tanking at the box office, and no, it’s not a Disney remake of Harry Potter. 

Donald Trump slammed New York Attorney General Letitia James for demanding $450 million bond from him before he can even appeal the fine. It appears he can no longer read the room. If Trump wants to pay no bond in New York City, he needs to stab someone on the subway and loot an Apple Store. 

The New York Times said Sunday Donald Trump is funny and entertaining onstage but then added that Mussolini and Stalin were known to be hilarious onstage as well. The newspaper forgets to add that Hitler always brought down the house. But he was a prop comic who did it with his air force. 

My CVS hired a cute young pharmacist right out of college who got fired the first day. She told them she doesn't believe in labels. 

The White House directed the Justice Department to challenge a new Texas law that lets Texas catch illegal migrants and arrest them and then deport them. We could face a serious international showdown soon. Mexico just started building a border wall to prevent the migrants from being sent back. 

Oil men left the Democratic Party in 1970 over school busing & started donating to Republicans. The next year the Earth was struck by climate change. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

 

[Reiuxcat]

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

 

[MISBAILEY]

Thanks for the toons Pookie! 😁

[pookie18]

1 hour ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

 

You're welcome, Rcat! My wife occasionally sees a doctor who'd treated Mr. T in the past...

[pookie18]

24 minutes ago, MISBAILEY said:

Thanks for the toons Pookie! 😁

My pleasure, MISBAILEY!

[mass55th]

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

[pookie18]

4 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!