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Today's Toons 2/19/24


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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  

Daily Variety forecast that Super Bowl TV viewership could surpass the previously most-watched event on TV, the 1969 moon landing. It was an odd event for a politician to pass up. President Biden refused to agree to a three-minute interview before the game, but he did offer to throw out the first pitch. 

Taylor Swift may accompany Chiefs to the White House. She should spray her hair with mace for when the president makes his move. 

Life in L.A. Today, I let a guy cut in front of me in line at the store because he only had 2 items, and note and a gun. 

Tara Reade filed a ten million dollar lawsuit against the FBI claiming they conducted a secret campaign to undercut her claim Biden sexually assaulted her in 1993. She said he pinned her against his office wall, and inserted his middle two fingers in her. In fairness to Joe, he thought he was bowling. 

Governor Ron DeSantis won a federal lawsuit Wednesday brought against him by Disney for rescinding Disney World's tax-exempt status in Florida. The park generally reflects the nation's mood. I went to Disney World last month and I noticed Mickey Mouse was wearing a Joe Biden watch. 

After Iran proxies attacked US bases last week Joe Biden said he's had enough and declared war on Texas 

Donald Trump followed up on his claim Saturday that people have always told him that he looks like Elvis. He posted a split photo of half his face next to half of Elvis's. Not to be outdone, Joe Biden, always trying to court black voters, countered by claiming people always told him he looks like Al Jolson. 

The Los Angeles Times announced massive newsroom layoffs Friday. Progressive newspapers are bleeding money. I fear that all the unemployed L.A. Times reporters will start working at Starbucks where they will not only get my name and order wrong, they will also write the name Racist on every cup. 

The White House was ripped by House Republicans for allowing the border invasion and giving government benefits to migrants. It makes sense from the president's point of view. It's a truism that if you teach to man a fish he'll eat for life, but if you give a man someone else's fish, he'll vote for Biden. 

Ben Affleck admitted his slave-owning ancestor uncovered when he went on PBS Finding Your Roots. When he first learned of it while taping the show, he demanded that the producers cover it up. The one thing people don't like about Ben is the way he walks around acting like he owns everybody. 

The New York Post reported on the huge number of journalists being laid off at the New York Times, the L.A. Times and the Washington Post. This year's White House Correspondents Dinner is expecting a record number of reporters in attendance. They'll be parking cars and clearing the tables. 

The Pentagon announced the U.S. carried out a drone attack in Baghdad that killed Hezbollah's second-in-command Tuesday. He was in charge of attacks on U.S. outposts in Iraq. Killing Hezbollah's number-two leader seems like a big deal until you realize that Kamala Harris is our number-two leader. 

New York Mayor Eric Adams hosted a Black History Month reception at Gracie Mansion Monday. He raised eyebrows with his loose racial slang when he called attention to all the black officials there and declared that no one has ever seen this much chocolate in the room. At least he didn’t say Snickers. 

Biden says he just talked to French president Mitterand. He died in 1996. In a perfect world Joe's press secretary would be Rod Serling. 

President Biden took to the White House stage Tuesday and angrily blamed Donald Trump and his MAGA supporters for the crisis at the border. Biden’s handlers were thrilled that he remembered Trump, border and crisis all in one sentence. Tomorrow they may let him blame the economy on Reagan. 

Democrats are pretty much down to arguing that if a tortoise was Joe Biden's age he'd be in the prime of life. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

 

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(Thank you, Mistysea)

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1 minute ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

You're welcome, Rcat!

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12 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!

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5 hours ago, MISBAILEY said:

Thanks for the toons Pookie! 😁

You're welcome, as always, MISBAILEY!

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