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Today's Toons 1/29/24


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  

The New Hampshire primary is down to two candidates after Ron DeSantis quit and endorsed Trump Sunday. He had much better success as governor of Florida. De Santis was able to take on Mickey, but he has been stopped by Donald, who will be trying to take the White House back from Goofy. 

New Hampshire voters go to the polls today and polls show Donald Trump the heavy favorite to win. Trump's campaign got a nice gift when South Carolina U.S. Senator Tim Scott endorsed him Friday. It didn't take MSNBC five minutes to allege that Trump offered him forty acres and a mule. 

Donald Trump defeated Nikki Haley in the New Hampshire primary Tuesday, nearing a lock on the GOP nomination. Next is South Carolina where he has a huge lead over her, and then the Big South, the bedrock of his support. Nikki Haley has a better chance of being elected president of 7-Eleven. 

Nikki Haley took her loss in stride today and called for the bombing of New Hampshire. 

The Weather Channel reported the winter's first cold front moved across the Midwest this week spreading snowstorms all the way into New England. Flights were canceled and highways were iced over paralyzing normal business. Chicago was buried by a blizzard today, delaying hundreds of murders. 

Boeing assured the public today that its door bolt tighteners are diverse. 

Nick Saban retires, Bill Belichik steps down. President Biden was furious when this was the lead item in his Morning Briefing. 

President Biden compared himself to George Washington ending any chance of Democrats ever erecting a statue of Joe Biden. 

I think Trump will choose Kristi Noem to be his VP. She can multitask . We’ve seen her as a governor, plumber, electrician, dentist and she identifies as a woman. 

Joe Biden bombs Yemen to try to co-opt Nikki Haley's defense industry donors. 

Hawaiian Airlines now has an all female flight crew. I see no problem til they all go to the bathroom together. 

The Emmy Awards will be telecast live on Fox from Hollywood's Peacock Theater on Monday and hosted by Anthony Anderson. Don't miss it. The Emmy Awards gives TV viewers the chance to see the most number of Hollywood celebrities without having to attend a Democratic Party fundraiser. 

The White House conceded President Biden was not informed of Secretary of Defense Austin's hospitalization. For days, the president was unaware of what was going on with the Secretary of Defense. I'd have been more surprised if he'd been aware of what was going on with the Secretary of Defense. 

The U.S. and Britain countered Houthi attacks on Red Sea shipping Thursday, launching air and missile attacks on rebel bases in Yemen. Iran quickly seized a U.S. oil tanker, an act of war. I can't believe we don't have world peace after we changed the name on all the pancake boxes and syrup bottles. 

Variety says the Emmy Awards drew an all-time low rating of four million viewers. Hollywood is furious that their Emmy speeches got killed in the TV ratings by Tampa Bay's win in the Monday Night Football playoff game. Democrats just declared that Baker Mayfield is a threat to our Democracy. 

Joe Biden's poll numbers so low Hunter is tempted to get a job on his own merits. 

Zelensky wants more billions from the US thinking he can defeat the Russians in a land war and force Russia to give back Putin's re-conquered Russian land, the Donbas and Crimea, that Khruschev gave Ukraine in the 1950s. If Zelensky took this fairy tale to Disney, they'd laugh him out of the pitch meeting. 

If Spartacus was made today he'd storm CVS and free all the underwear and toothpaste from their jail cells. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

 

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24 minutes ago, Oralee said:

REALLY GOOD START TO THE WEEK POOKIE !  THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR EFFORTS.

You're welcome, Oralee!

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37 minutes ago, MISBAILEY said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie! 😁

My pleasure, MISBAILEY!

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3 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

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You're welcome, as always, Rcat!

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8 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure, as ever & the same to you, mass55th!

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