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Today's Toons 12/4/23


pookie18

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Click below for Tony's toons:

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  

The National Christmas Tree fell over yesterday. It tripped over a sandbag. 

Hillary Clinton posted a message Thursday wishing everyone a wonderful, delicious holiday full of gratitude for the presence of family and friends. For Thanksgiving the Clintons gathered at home in Chappaqua. In keeping with family tradition, the Clintons didn't kill the turkey, it committed suicide. 

Thanksgiving brought families together in tense times not alleviated by a comedian at the table Thursday. My date told me not to joke about politics at her liberal Democratic family's dinner and just bring some wine. Imagine the joy of their faces when I showed up with three quarts of Trump Wine. 

Iran warned the Israeli-Hamas war could escalate into a regional war if Israel doesn’t declare a cease fire. Israel’s first object was to flush Hamas leaders out of their headquarters. Israeli troops entered the hospital in Gaza City Thursday and according to reports, they ignored the Quiet Please signs. 

President Biden met with reporters in San Francisco Wednesday to review the details of his four-hour meeting with China’s President Xi and advisors. I think the meeting was long overdue. After all, Joe Biden has been President of the United States for three years, it’s about time he met with the owners. 

CBS News reports the documentary JFK: What the Doctors Saw now streaming on Paramount Plus disproves the Warren Commission's report that JFK was killed by Lee Oswald. The FBI is all set to reveal that seventeen-year-old Donald Trump was in Dallas that day. Charges are expected Friday. 

I think it'd be less confusing if Biden just stands at the podium turns the teleprompter around and lets us read it for ourselves. 

Today Hamas announced at the Gaza City Hotel that their LGBTQ support group has been moved to the roof. 

China’s government ripped Joe Biden as absurd and out-of-control for calling China’s President Xi a dictator Wednesday. It gets crazier. Pro Israelis and Pro Hamas protestors are calling each other Nazis day and night until surviving members of the Hitler family might sue for trademark infringement. 

Dick Cheney’s daughter Liz accused the RNC of siding with the Nazis for not ripping Trump’s use of the word vermin to describe his adversaries. Her own father conjured the Iraq war under false pretenses. For what it’s worth, Dick Cheney sounds like something Hillary ought have around Bill. 

The Wall Street Journal poll said three fourths of Americans think Joe Biden is too old to serve a second term. I see his worth. When Joe finishes his prepared remarks and starts wandering and stumbling around onstage while the audience watches horrified, you realize he’s the first president who would have made a great silent movie comedian. 

The Congressional Budget Office reported the U.S. Treasury Department collected four-and-a-half trillion dollars in federal revenue from income taxes, corporate income taxes, payroll taxes and excise taxes. The process is just exhausting. Even with all the withholding, I still owe $3,500 to Ukraine. 

President Biden reportedly discussed mutual security issues with President Xi in San Francisco this week. There was no mention of the spy balloon that China flew over the U.S. last year. The FBI is still angry at China for the spy balloon over-flight, saying that spying on Americans is covered already. 

President Biden met with China’s President Xi in at an economic conference in San Francisco Wednesday. The city was cleaned up and put on its best face for the summit meeting. Homeless people having sex on the sidewalks were admonished by passers-by to get a box. 

I think we should privatize Homeland Security. Right now the deodorant aisle at CVS is more secure than the Southern border. 

Libertarian Javier Milei jolted the world Sunday, getting elected president of Argentina vowing to get rid of the political class. He's like Ayn Rand and Trump had a son. Out of habit, the Biden DOJ just indicted Milei for insurrection, mishandling classified documents, and falsifying mistress payments. 

Boston will mark the 230th anniversary of the Boston Tea Party that destroyed a huge tea shipment from England. The tea tax had been lowered by Parliament, and Hancock feared lower prices would ruin his racket in smuggled Dutch tea. History books blame King George III because Trump wasn't born yet. 

The National Retail Federation reported L.A. and New York City had the highest rise in retail thefts this year, the totals up sixty percent. Any further discussion is racist. Moving on, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass urged everyone to beat the mobs and get their holiday shoplifting done early this year. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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Again, thanks Pookie for your tones. I don't often enough let you know how enjoyable your toones start my days, so again a big thank you . 

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36 minutes ago, Oralee said:

Again, thanks Pookie for your tones. I don't often enough let you know how enjoyable your toones start my days, so again a big thank you . 

(My pleasure) x 2, Oralee!

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6 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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