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Today's Toons 11/13/23


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  


During a Republican debate someone threw a rotten tomato at Chris Christie. It didn't hit, because it went into orbit around him.  


-- Swawn Farash 


Joe Biden gave a speech today at Arlington Cemetery. He had to show an ID to get out. 


Joe Biden went to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier today and said he knew the guy. 


The Pentagon retaliated against Iran-backed proxy terror groups for attacking U.S. bases in the Mideast by bombing ammunition storage bases in Syria Thursday. Iran's threat to retaliate and bomb Washington was fine with Joe Biden. He's never lost a presidential election while sitting in the basement. 


PBS reports that the Army fell 15,000 short of its recruiting goal of 60,000 new soldiers this past year. I know an old actor who told me that he wore a bra and panties to his draft physical in 1965 in order to get out of being drafted for Vietnam. If you did that today you would instantly make Colonel. 


President Biden proposed the long-elusive two-state solution for Israel and the Palestinians on Thursday. All it requires is for Israel to make peace with a terror group out to destroy Israel. Before that occurs, Benjamin Netanyahu will be elected Secretary General of the United Nations by a floor vote. 


California Governor Gavin Newsom made a visit to Beijing Tuesday to meet China's President Xi and exchange mutual praises. The Chinese regime maintains one-party rule, it tolerates slave labor and it allows no freedom of speech. Gavin was there to get more ideas on how to run a communist state. 


The Daily Mail reports Joe Biden paid nearly three million dollars cash for his beach estate in Delaware after Hunter worked a ten million dollar deal with a Chinese investment firm. The law is clear. If Joe is tried and convicted for bribery he could get 12-to-18 years as Senator from New Jersey. 


Politico reported Wednesday an average of the latest polls show Biden trailing behind Trump amid low approval ratings. Biden trails Trump by nine points in Pennsylvania in the Emerson Poll. But a new poll in DC, Florida and New York has Trump trailing Biden by a score of four judges to none. 


House Democrat Jamaal Bowman was charged for setting off a fire alarm in a House office hall to delay a vote to keep the government open. The ex-middle school principal claimed ignorance about fire alarms so the DC judge only fined him. He's obviously the victim of a racist criminal justice system. 


Senator Chuck Grassley revealed the FBI has had forty informants planted in the Biden family to track the shakedowns and bribes. The agency was protecting Biden's racket while going after Trump. The fact that the FBI actually got caught has J. Edgar Hoover rolling over in his evening gown. 


After listening to Trump react to the gag order, I thought Jack Nicholson held it together in The Shining pretty well. 


The White House faced pressure from the left wing of the Democrat Party to call for a cease fire in Gaza Tuesday. Hamas supporters call the Israelis Nazis yet it's the Hamas supporters who chant Death to the Jews. I miss the good old days when a Nazi was anybody who disagreed with you on Twitter. 


Homeland Security chief Alexandro Majorkas was castigated in the Senate by Republicans Monday for allowing six million illegal aliens into the U.S. Democrats see a conspiracy plot being hatched. First, Republicans want to say illegal aliens are illegal, next they'll want to take away their voting rights. 


The White House urged Congress to pass a bill that combined aid to Israel and Ukraine despite GOP objections. Ukraine's government is a den of thieves that jailed its rival party's leader, shut down opposition media and made the Biden family rich. As democracies go, we could be identical twins. 


The Doomsday Clock was moved up one hundred seconds this week to ninety seconds before midnight, the closest it's ever been to Armageddon. However there was some good news. President Biden promised that any Americans who die during World War III will have their student loans forgiven. 


Vanity Fair says the hot jewelry for young women in New York is the Mood Ring, a craze back in the '70s. It's changed a little. When a girl meets you, if her ring turns red, it means she's attracted to you, if it's yellow it means she wants to sell you crypto and if it's orange it means you've been indicted. 


Biden flips & asks Israeli Army to pause. If they ever name a building after Biden it's a shame Waffle House is already taken. 


House Republicans produced a bill to fund aid for Israel that's totally paid for out of the billions the Democrats wanted to use hiring thousands of new IRS agents. House Republicans are trying to aid people who suffered a terrifying surprise raid on their lives and property. They're also trying to help Israel. 


FBI Director Chris Wray told the Senate the U.S. is in heightened state of alert due to the threat of attacks by Hamas sleeper cells now in the U.S., but I understand how they got into the country. The FBI can't keep a sharp eye on Hamas and MAGA Republicans at the same time. Orders are orders. 


Joe Biden keeps proposing a 2 state solution but the Palestinians already have 2 states, New York and Michigan. 


Hundreds of Palestinians fleeing thru the Egyptian border gate. Mexican cartels are investigating if it'd be profitable to build a river. 


It's hilarious. For 8 years Democrats have said that Donald Trump Jr. and Eric were completely ignorant. But today when they testified they were completely ignorant,  The Democrats threatened them with perjury charges 


On Veterans Day, we honor those who fought to keep this country from turning into exactly what it is today. 


-- Argus Hamilton 


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(Thank you, Reiuxcat)

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