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Today's Toons 8/28/23


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R: 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  


The National Weather Service reported Hurricane Hillary came roaring up from Mexico Friday carrying high winds, pouring rain and heading for Southern California. Nobody was expecting much property damage to local stores. Thanks to the flash mobs the retail businesses were already boarded up. 


San Diego emergency officials urged people to stay off the city’s many beaches Sunday as fears mounted of high surf and riptides. Florida resident Donald Trump issued a three-word statement of advice to Southern California residents about how to survive Hurricane Hillary’s wrath. Lock her up! 


What a boring week. I don't know what's more lackcluster, a presidential debate without Trump or a presidential address by Biden. 


Donald Trump could be fingerprinted and forced to stand for mug shots when he is arraigned this week in Georgia for trying to overthrow the state's 2020 election results. Trump has agreed to surrender himself in Atlanta on Thursday. To accommodate Democrats, this will happen at CNN Plaza. 


New York Mayor Eric Adams declared a state of emergency Thursday over the city's incoming flood of migrants that are spilling out of shelters and lined up sleeping on the sidewalks. The inconvenience is intolerable. Shoplifters running down the streets with flat screens did not sign up for the high hurdles. 


Donald Trump's lawyers tried to delay the proposed January 3rd trial date for the January 6th charge which would be followed by the hush money trial in March followed by the documents trial in May. It changes nothing. If Biden can win from the basement Trump can win from the witness stand. 


President Biden informed the Weather Channel that he'd like to halt all oil drilling in federal waters off the East Coast, off the West Coast and in the Gulf of Mexico. That would only add to the current misery at the pump. Gas prices again are so high even the Corona Virus has stopped traveling. 


Special Counsel Jack Smith filed motions to try to stop Trump from discussing his prosecution in contesting the 2020 election. Is this smart? If the Democrats force Trump to stop talking about 2020, he might start talking about inflation, crime and the border and they will have elected him a second time. 


President Biden stated we are in a climate emergency in an interview he granted to the Weather Channel Wednesday. This was a smart PR move by Joe. To add credence to his claim that he only talked to Hunter's business partners about the weather, he only gives interviews to the Weather Channel. 


57% of New Hampshire GOP said they'd vote for Trump if he's in jail. Hillary even volunteered to provide the security. 


President Biden pitched his economic policy to Milwaukee on Monday but the Gallup poll shows only one-third of Americans polled approve of the job he's doing. Inflation has everybody cutting back and angry about it. Times are so tough that last night, the Walton family was seen shopping at WalMart. 


Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis charged Donald Trump with forty-one counts of criminal enterprise on Tuesday night. I am no songwriter, but Tuesday was Arraigny Night in Georgia. 


Hillary Clinton was appearing on MSNBC's Rachel Maddow Show when the Trump indictment was announced from Atlanta while they were live on the air Tuesday night, and she tried not to act giddy. Hillary faced the camera and said she took no pleasure in Trump's indictments. It took five takes. 


Janet Yellen hallucinated on magic mushrooms in China. At one point she saw a way out for the Biden family. 


President Biden spoke on relief efforts in Hawaii Tuesday and he pledged the residents every full measure of federal support in the recovery effort from his cabinet. Even the Department of Justice is pitching in. Next week, Trump will be indicted for starting the fires on Maui by denying climate change. 


NCAA women's swimming champion Riley Gaines hailed new laws banning transgender women from competing in sports outside their biological sex. Most comedians in Hollywood are too scared to joke about transgender issues. However I cheerfully identify as a Jackass and my pronouns are He/Haw. 


GOP presidential campaign is in full swing. Trump supporters are now wearing red golf caps inscribed Prisoner of the United States 


University of Texas epidemiologist Dr. Katelyn Jetelaina urged PBS listeners Thursday to mask up at home, at work and on the road to keep guarding against Covid. If you are STILL wearing a mask while you are driving alone, you do not need that Biden in 2024 sticker on the back of your car. We know. 


President Biden on Monday signed a Major Disaster Declaration for the state of Hawaii and Joe ordered all federal resources in response to the fires. The order was to go in effect six hours after the president signed it. Out of habit, they had to fire the prosecutor first before Joe would release the money. 


The New York Post published a letter Barack Obama wrote his girlfriend when he was twenty-one years old in which he confessed to her that he fantasized daily about having sex with men. It's no big deal in today's American culture. However Kenya just offered to provide proof he was born in the United States. 


The U.S. Office of Administrative Courts published numbers showing that of criminal defendants in federal court cases who plead not guilty and go to trial, ninety-nine percent of the defendants are found guilty. It's of no consolation to the Democrats. Donald Trump is definitely among the one percent. 


Anheuser Busch heir Billy Busch offered to buy back the brewery that bears his family's name to restore Budweiser's brand after its disastrous transgender marketing foray. It did inspire thousands of men to alter their personalities. I now identify as This Little Piggy and my pronouns are We/We/We. 


-- Argus Hamilton 

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52 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always, mass55th!

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10 hours ago, areyoukiddingme said:

You brought out the "brought to you by the letter R 'again...tears

 

Thanks Mr 18

My pleasure, as ever, RU!

Unless something changes, Rush will appear every Monday...

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