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Today's Toons 7/24/23


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R: 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  


House Republicans claim evidence that nails the Bidens for taking money from China in return for influence. Meanwhile an embarrassing number of D.C. lawmakers have grown wealthy while on the government payroll. Richard Nixon famously said, I am not a crook, and he wasn't by today's standards. 


Hillary Clinton will headline the NAACP annual convention in Boston in three weeks. Content moderation versus totally free speech on social media is the hot button partisan issue. To demonstrate her opposition to those who insist on free speech, Hillary's speaking fee is one hundred thousand dollars. 


The New York Post cited a study that found successful dating during today's culture wars favors conservatives. A liberal social media influencer asked her millions of followers Friday why she can't find a man who's masculine AND progressive. They're too busy competing in women's swimming meets. 


The London Telegraph reports the Miss Netherlands beauty pageant made history Saturday in Amsterdam by crowning a transgender woman Miss Netherlands. Her win was a complete surprise. She wowed all the judges during the talent portion of the pageant when she spelled her name in the snow. 


President Biden was the subject of an article about how often he loses his temper and swears in the Oval Office, but the article added profanity may be forgivable when the country is at its most divided since the Civil War. President Lincoln’s wife was called a crazy bitch. Biden says he stands by the tweet. 


Science Daily published the results of a comprehensive study which found that having your kids play board games greatly increases their skills in math and deductive reasoning. And the skills stay with you all your life. Last night I won a game of Clue when I guessed Hunter in the West Wing with a Straw. 


The White House cocaine discovery quickly turned into a Deep State fire drill Friday. The FBI got a FISA warrant to investigate possible Trump-Colombia collusion. Dr. Fauci urged us to wear a mask over our noses while Pfizer creates a mandatory vaccine to protect us from the cocaine epidemic. 


The New York Times ripped the First Family for refusing to acknowledge Hunter’s four-year-old daughter by the Arkansas stripper. The child is not allowed to claim being a Biden. When a family splits up incoming millions like Indians divide casino revenue, no new members of the tribe are welcome. 


Now when I hear Biden is going on an international trip, I just hope he's not walking up the Eiffel Tower when it happens. 


ABC's women of The View slammed Fox News coverage of the cocaine found in the White House as an attempt to weaponize Hunter politically. I feel ashamed for joking about it. I now realize it's simply none of our business if, on family game night, the Bidens like to play Whose Line Is It Anyway? 


President Biden flew to London to meet King Charles at Windsor Castle Monday before a NATO meeting in Lithuania. As they reviewed the castle guards, Charles twice had to steer Joe to keep him from wandering off. The movie screenwriter for 1980's Being There deserves a Nobel Prize for Prophesy. 


President Biden will travel to Finland for a summit in billed as the U.S.-Nordic Leaders Summit. In attendance are the leaders of Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Iceland, and their cabinet members. Biden hasn't sat in the presence of this many white guys since Senator Robert Byrd's funeral. 


House Republicans offered a voting bill that requires photo ID, bars non citizens from voting, requires annual voter roll maintenance and bans mail-ins to unmaintained rolls. It's un-American. I once had a rich uncle in Chicago who voted Republican until the day he died and he's voted Democrat ever since. 


Secret Service ends WH cocaine probe with no suspects they can name if they want to keep their pensions. 


The Secret Service announced Thursday that the FBI's investigation into the cocaine left in the White House was unable to pinpoint one suspect. At least they removed the bag of coke from the West Wing door before Biden trips over it. Disney on Ice just added a new act billed as Hunter Skates Again! 


FBI Director Chris Wray infuriated House inquisitors Wednesday when he stonewalled evidence of censoring social media and denied the FBI protecting the Bidens while trying to nail Trump at every chance. What on earth has happened to the FBI? J. Edgar Hoover is turning over in his sun dress. 


Alec Baldwin just shot a guy who took his spot in the unemployment line. 


President Biden attended the NATO Summit held in Lithuania Wednesday where he managed to get Sweden voted into NATO in exchange for Turkey entering the EU. MSNBC pundits actually compared Joe Biden to Franklin D. Roosevelt. Well, come to think of it, neither one could walk up stairs. 


My home loan just identified as a student loan. We burn the mortgage tonight! 


Cockroaches can survive a nuclear war but can't survive a swat with a newspaper. It shows how toxic the media is. 


Amazing how language changes over time. For example what was once "I'm pretending to be" is now "I identify as." 


-- Argus Hamilton 


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12 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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