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Thoughts from the ammo line (Birthing Persons Edition)


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Power Line

Scott Johnson

May 6 2022

With MOTHER’S DAY 2022 coming into view Ammo Grrlll writes:

Sunday will be Mother’s Day. Even though I still send cards to a sister-in-law and a couple of nieces, Mother’s Day has been a bittersweet day for me for the five years since my mother has passed on. On the one hand, it would be unseemly and ungrateful to feel I deserved to have her for more than the 70 years I was blessed to have! On the other selfish hand, I miss the heck out of her. She would be 101 now and probably not all that thrilled to still be here.

She always planned to go meet Bert Blyleven (Minnesota Twins Hall of Fame pitcher and former Twins color man) when she turned 100 – mostly for the 100 Scratch-Off Lottery Tickets he would give her. But she would never have gone to Target Field if the kneeling ninnies were in evidence and she would not have countenanced the deification of a drug-addicted career criminal on the wall either.


And even then, the question is not quite as simple as “what is a woman?” and oddly enough, that proved a real poser for a person who was allegedly CHOSEN for her new job on the grounds of being one.

Only female persons, called women if they are over the age of menarche, can ever ever give birth. A woman with a fully functioning reproductive system who gets pregnant but has opted to mutilate herself, by either adding some parts surgically while amputating some other parts, is still a woman, albeit a mentally ill one. The uterus/ovaries and vagina set-up is decisive for a baby getting both IN and OUT. No men can give birth. Period. Men have inadequate plumbing that is particularly challenging for the egress. End of story. And the creepy little Harridan of Truth, who looks exactly like the Wicked Queen in my childhood Snow White book, cannot make me say otherwise.


Hey, husbands and children: it’s still only Friday. You have a whole day to make a restaurant reservation (Good Luck!), order flowers, buy candy, or at least get a card. Do read it first.

Motherhood is a tough job, not for the faint of heart. Is it possible – to use the wonderful sin-absolving passive voice common to politicians – “mistakes were made”? How could it be otherwise? Let me assure you that the vast majority of us were doing the best we could with the imperfect human material we had to work with. So let’s hear it for the mothers. I’m sorry not every one could be my Mama. But I bet your Mama came darn close.




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