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Today's Toons 4/25/22


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R: 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:  


The U.S. Senate gathered for a historic vote Thursday and voted to confirm the nomination of U.S. Court of Appeals Judge Ketanji Jackson to be the first African American woman ever to serve on the Supreme Court. We're on our way. Just two more black female justices and it's the Supremes Court.  


The White House sidestepped calls to re-open oil drilling to lower gas prices, halt illegal immigration and end no-bail for felons. As for foreign policy, the National Enquirer reports that the CIA is secretly plotting to destroy Russia. The plan involves replacing Vladimir Putin with Joe Biden.  


Holy Cross announced it'll name its science building after alum Anthony Fauci. That's nice but he longs for the limelight again. If someone doesn't get Dr. Fauci back on TV soon, he's going to have to reinvent himself as a transgender Ukrainian Disney princess who was attacked by Will Smith.  


Pepsi Co announced that to support women in sports, Crackerjack popcorn will be re-branded Cracker Jill. Be very careful, you're on tricky ground if you're a smart aleck. You will be accused of being trans-phobic and canceled on Twitter if you complain that your box of Cracker Jill has nuts in it.  


Black Lives Matter leaders are under investigation for skimming the sixty million in funds raised during the George Floyd riots to buy luxury homes in L.A. and San Diego. There just doesn't seem to be end to all the looting. The difference between Batman and BLM is, Batman can go out without Robin.  


President Biden wandered off script and into the ozone again during a speech Thursday. He said America can be defined in one word, then described an imaginary hike he took with President Xi in the the Himalayas. Sometimes I just listen to Biden and think, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.  


White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki was back at work after taking a week off to isolate after she tested positive for Covid last week. Coincidentally, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has also been self-isolating with Covid. Nancy got a nice card from Donald Trump Monday urging her to stay positive.  


The New York Post reports that grade schools in New Jersey have just begun a sexual awareness program for fifth grades in Health and Science class that encourages the kids to masturbate. It's recommended as an effective way to relieve stress. You guessed it, the instruction manual is a handbook.  


Oil and Gas Journal reported that oil prices on the world market are down twenty percent from last month, but still sky-high. It's starting to affect the president's family. Oil prices are so high, if Hunter Biden sells a painting to the Chinese for a hundred million dollars, he loses money on materials.  


-- Argus Hamilton 


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19 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure, as ever & the same to you, mass55th!

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