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Today's Toons 10/25/21


pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

President Biden’s poll numbers show people angry over his open border, Critical Race Theory, vaccine mandates, tax hike proposals, the spending bill, the Afghan debacle and inflation. Well, so much for impulse buying. Joe Biden is what happens when you order a president through the mail. 

Attorney General Merrick Garland did his part Thursday to continue prosecuting the War on Terror. The next day the network news showed live action footage of FBI and Homeland Security agents charging into a school building with their pistols drawn. They were going into a PTA meeting. 

The Pentagon says ISIS sent three suicide bombers into Afghanistan mosques last week. They are clearly operating with a chip on their shoulders ISIS then issued a statement challenging suburban parents at school board meetings to raise their game if they want to be considered terrorists. 

President Biden's call for companies to require workers to get the vaccine shot was obeyed by Southwest Airlines, which ordered all employees to get the shot by December. So, put this in your body or you'll never work again. Does this sound better coming from Joe Biden or Harvey Weinstein? 

President Biden traveled to Chicago Friday to articulate his economic agenda and for the need to pass both his budget and the reconciliation bill to keep America competitive. It's hard to believe Joe Biden wants to spend three and a half trillion dollars. That's nearly three Hunter Biden paintings. 

Attorney General Merrick Garland vowed to go after parents who protest Critical Race Theory for terrorism. Meanwhile his son-in-law sells CRT courses to schools nationwide. It just illustrated that the administration's problem with relying on herd immunity to end Covid is that nobody gets rich. 

The Justice Department ignited a firestorm by labeling parents who protest CRT as domestic terrorists. National pride is to be replaced by national shame. Yesterday I saw the U.S. flag flying over an L.A. high school, so I phoned the FBI because I was told if you see something, say something. 

No Time to Die starring Daniel Craig as British Secret agent James Bond was finally released after months of delay until movie theaters reopened. He's not the same spy as he once was toward women. In keeping up with the times the Bond girl in the next Bond movie will be named P.C. Galore. 

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki acknowledged to reporters on Tuesday that President Biden wants to fundamentally change America. It's affecting everything. Only nine months into the Biden Administration, Superman just changed his name to Tarzan now that he swings both ways. 

Super Bowl winning coach Jon Gruden has reportedly agreed to participate in a continuing education seminar with Hillary Clinton. It's a way for them to learn from each other. Jon is going to teach Hillary what it takes to win the Big One and Hillary's going to teach Jon how to erase e-mails. 

Vanity Fair ran a cover story on Hollywood movie star Duane Johnson who is nicknamed The Rock to millions of longtime fans. In the interview, Johnson refused to rule out a political career and said he might run for president in 2024. He'd be the second consecutive rock to sit in the Oval Office. 

President Biden will meet with Pope Francis when he travels to Rome in three weeks. After all Biden is the first Catholic president in fifty-eight years. Thanks to church rules about witnessed miracles, Joe could be named a saint because of all the voters he raised from the dead last November. 

The White House is paying $5 million a day to contractors not to build a border wall with $100 million in wall materials sitting idle at the border. This presidency is the worst-planned expedition since the Donner Party. They'd have asked, if you eat somebody who's had the shot, do you still need the shot? 

Bill Clinton was hospitalized at the University of California Irvine Medical Center Thursday for what doctors said is a non-Covid-related blood infection. It's too easy to say Bill's condition is touch and go. Bill Clinton was in the hospital for only ten minutes before he took a turn for the nurse. 

The Rolling Stones said they'll not play Brown Sugar at this year's shows. The song was a hit fifty years ago about slave ships, cotton fields and cold English blood turning hot while whipping and having sex with black women. Democrats are demanding this song replace the National Anthem. 

The White House faced angry objections to IRS expansion in Biden's spending bill Friday. In it, the IRS would monitor every transaction over six hundred dollars. However purchasing terribly created art for over a hundred thousand dollars per painting will be considered a charitable deduction. 

President Biden told Congress to pass Build Back Better in order to keep America competitive in the world economy. Last week economists confirmed that the actual cost of President Biden's $3.5 trillion spending plan is, as Biden claims, zero. The $3.5 trillion is for shipping and handling. 

The White House was reprimanded by Barack Obama who weighed in on illegal immigration and said the border chaos can't continue. It reminded me that my recent online order got mixed up with somebody else's. I ordered a fake vaccination card and they sent me a Hawaiian birth certificate. 

Jon Gruden resigned as head coach of the Las Vegas Raiders on Monday after somebody dug up old private e-mails to a friend in the Redskins office. The emails revealed Gruden making racist and sexist and homophobic remarks. Netflix just offered Jon Gruden three stand-up comedy specials. 

President Biden on Wednesday ordered U.S. ports to stay open late to try to unclog the shipping backlog. The administration finds itself cornered. They're wondering if the children will buy the story that there's nothing under the tree this Christmas because the reindeer refused to get vaccinated. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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(Thank you, Reiuxcat)

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