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Today's Toons 10/18/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

The White House negotiated furiously with House Members and Senators Thursday in a clash between Democrats over the three trillion dollar spending bill. The president says it actually costs nothing. I paid fifty thousand dollars for my Cadillac, but I'm greatly relieved to learn that it was free. 

Dr. Fauci drew fire Sunday for saying it is too soon to tell if we should avoid getting together for the holidays. We'll survive Covid if he doesn't nag us to death. Dr. Fauci urged Americans to wear an extra warm coat all winter to make sure that the person next to you doesn't freeze to death. 

President Biden led five hundred thousand obedient Americans in getting Covid booster shots last week in the never-ending attempt to achieve herd immunity. It's just exhausting. I can't wait until the fifth wave when the people with four shots are blaming everything on people with three shots. 

John Hinckley was released from the mental hospital after 31 years Friday after assuring his psychiatrist he didn't vote for Trump. He shot Reagan to try to impress Jodie Foster. California taxpayers are doing all they can to get word to John that Jodie Foster is now dating Gavin Newsom. 

The White House will deploy the Justice Department to prosecute parents who disrupt school board meetings to protest against any vaccine requirement for students. The government mandates are unwittingly teaching kids their constitutional rights. It's undoing years of public school education. 

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortzez led the charge of progressive Democrats in budget negotiations, tying up any hope of compromise. In college she was a popular Manhattan bartender. Last weekend I teamed up with AOC to create a new cocktail called the Border. But it needs more ICE. 

Attorney General Merrick Garland vowed to prosecute protesting parents at school board meetings as terrorists. One school board meeting erupted in violence when parents clashed with teachers over mask mandates and race theory. A student finally restored order by shooting everyone. 

Dr. Fauci stated it's too soon to tell if families can get together for the holidays. The obscene football stadium chants sweeping the country may foretell some noisy Thanksgiving dinner tables next month. Half of the family will be chanting F-Biden and the other half will be chanting F-Fauci. 

UCLA Professor Geoffrey Klein sued UCLA for suspending him for his refusal to grade black students leniently. To enter UCLA, the SAT test has been replaced by an essay question. Let's guess—if you have fifty genders and divide them by white privilege, how much climate change do you have? 

The Justice Department threatened to go after parents protesting the teaching of Critical Race Theory at school board meetings as terrorists. For eight glorious hours on Monday, Americans enjoyed freedom of speech as guaranteed by the Constitution. And then Facebook came back online. 

The White Privilege Conference is being held at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte. It wasn't until I went to the movie theater to see Twelve Years a Slave did I experience the awfulness of human exploitation. I had to pay eight dollars for a large popcorn and six dollars for a large Coke. 

President Biden punted on the spending bills Thursday. The House won't pass Infrastructure, passable in the Senate, until the Senate passes Reconciliation, which the Senate will never pass. Don't you hate it when you're digging a hole to hide a body and there's already a body there? 

The White House was pummeled by the results of the latest Quinnipiac poll, which revealed that the president has sunk to thirty-eight percent job approval rating. He's fallen twenty-five points in two months. When told about the president's low poll numbers, Biden said he'd hate to be that guy. 

The U.S. Postal Service announced Friday it's begun slowing down U.S. Mail delivery to homes and businesses across the country. It proves that nothing is impossible. Incidentally, last year the Postal Service lost nine billion dollars, making it by far the most profitable branch of the government. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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Hire Hunter Biden for Raiders coach to avoid controversy. LMAO!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Great one!

Thanks for the smiles this Monday Pookie. 🙂

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3 hours ago, Reiuxcat said:

Hire Hunter Biden for Raiders coach to avoid controversy. LMAO!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Great one!

Thanks for the smiles this Monday Pookie. 🙂

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You're welcome, Rcat!

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15 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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