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Today's Toons 9/13/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter C: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

USA Today polls showed overwhelming support for rescuing Afghan translators and bringing them to the U.S. It's a vital profession. Every day, the White House Press Secretary, the Pentagon spokesman and State Department spokesman take turns translating what Joe Biden was trying to say. 

NIH Director Dr. Fauci issued yet another warning to the nation Tuesday that the pandemic is far from over. He said he hopes to have Covid controlled by April of next year. Dr. Fauci ordered everyone to refrain from handshakes, prompting Hannibal Lector to turn off his blender immediately. 

President Biden's press conference Thursday showed him angry, resolved, empathetic, crying, focused and unfocused. You never know where his mind will wander. All week I held my breath watching his press conferences, just waiting for him to identify the capital of Afghanistan as Kaboom. 

The White House cited hard bargaining by Joe Biden for progress in Taliban negotiations this past week. Two weeks ago, the Taliban wanted total control of the country and all the weapons, but Joe got them down to total control of the country and all the weapons. And we threw in an early exit. 

President Biden took full responsibility for the debacle in Afghanistan Thursday while the U.S. evacuates in disarray. Today marks the fourteenth day of the president's exit strategy in action. On the bright side, it's been a terrific two weeks for the President Jimmy Carter Appreciation Society. 

President Biden was hit by a CBS poll showing his job approval rating has plummeted twenty points in the past week. Voters are notoriously fickle. My uncle James was a staunch conservative banker who voted Republican every election until the day he died, and ever since he's voted Democrat. 

President Biden addressed the nation on the Afghan evacuation Wednesday in a jam-packed White House press room. The sign above the door reads Limited Capacity. I wish they wouldn't advertise the president's infirmity like that, it ruins the surprise and he always opens with it anyway. 

The Taliban issued a statement Wednesday saying they don't want Afghan citizens to be flown out of Kabul Airport, betraying their greatest worry. The U.S. can still win this thing. We rescue every woman from Afghanistan then see just how far the Taliban can get without a way to reproduce. 

The White House doubled down against detractors of Biden's handling of this week's debacle in Afghanistan. Critics of Biden's evacuation plan overlook the fact that in eight days he's rescued one trillion Americans from Afghanistan. That's according to Dominion Software Auditing Services. 

The White House was struck by a poll Tuesday indicating that President Biden's job approval fell twenty points due to his administration's policies. How bad it is? President Biden and Kamala Harris are coming out to California to campaign for Governor Newsom, at the request of Larry Elder. 

The White House was swarmed with questions Friday asking why President Biden decided to pull troops out of Kabul before evacuating our military equipment and civilians. Comedians are in total agreement. It's the most-botched withdrawal since Bill Clinton pulled out of Internistan in 1998. 

President Biden was rocked by polls showing his job approval rating has plummeted due to his handling of the chaotic debacle in Afghanistan. Just how angry are Californians at Joe Biden? Well, he's coming here to campaign for Governor Newsom, and the state just released Sirhan Sirhan. 

President Biden was on hand at Dover Air Force base to receive the coffins of the U.S. Marines killed last week. During the solemn ceremony, Joe was caught on camera glancing impatiently at his watch. I'm guessing a lot of people who voted for Biden are turning over in their graves right now. 

U.S. forces left Afghanistan Monday, ending the twenty-year-long war with ferocious Pashtun tribesmen who banded together as the Taliban. Their leaders have publicly agreed to get out of the heroin trade. Anyway, they'll make a lot more money from their new chain of U.S. Army surplus stores. 

President Biden was ripped Tuesday for deciding to abandon Bagram Air Base, not insisting on a coalition government and withdrawing troops first, leaving behind civilians and military hardware. Congress reacted decisively. The House Democrats plan to impeach Trump for a third time. 

President Biden caught heat from House Democrats Friday who worry about their re-election due to the Afghan debacle. Even Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream has joined the critical chorus. They just created a new ice cream flavor in honor of Biden's evacuation strategy, it's called Abandon-Mint. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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(Thank you, Mistysea)

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