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Today's Toons 8/30/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T: 

In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

The White House is reported doing everything in its power Friday to keep the locals of Kabul safe while U.S. troops evacuate. For starters the U.S. wants to make sure that every Taliban invader has a vaccination card before they are allowed to enter Kabul. You guessed it, the mayor is a Democrat. 

Governor Andrew Cuomo started preparing to leave office in two weeks but he is still courting public favor in the meantime. Yesterday, the governor kissed a baby, which is normally okay, but it was breast-feeding. In Cuomo's defense, he was thirsty and he didn't realize that the baby was there. 

U.S. Chinook helicopters were shown on live TV evacuating State Department personnel from the U.S. Embassy in Kabul. We couldn't even enjoy watching a live military crisis without being reminded of the virus. Dr. Fauci warned every American trapped in Afghanistan to wear your Burka. 

The Taliban said they were entering Kabul early Sunday to fill the suddenly created leadership vacuum. It wasn't a day featuring gallant leaders standing their ground. When the Taliban began entering Kabul, the president fled the capital city and disappeared, and so did Afghanistan's president. 

President Biden was ripped by media Sunday for staying on vacation in Delaware during the evacuation of Kabul. Both political parties were incredulous. Conservatives couldn't believe he'd stay hidden during a crisis while the liberal elite couldn't believe anyone would vacation in Delaware. 

The Weather Channel reports that Haiti was rocked by a seven point earthquake last weekend causing havoc. Cable news channels were quick to make it a partisan issue. Geologists say the quake was caused by a single line of shifting tectonic plates under the earth that CNN called Trump's Fault. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger startled fans Friday posting an angry pro-mask and pro-vaccination video on social media. In it, he ridiculed libertarian anti-maskers and anti-vaxers. Arnold got so emotional he said screw your freedoms, but to be honest it sounded a lot better in the original German. 

Los Angeles schools reopened on Monday and students across L.A. are so excited to return to in-person indoctrination. On the first day in class, third-graders were given a math question. If you take seventy-six genders and divide it by systemic racism, how many white oppressors do you have? 

Barack Obama didn't comment on the seventy-four cases of Covid at Martha's Vineyard after his birthday party last weekend. This year my family is inviting Obama to Thanksgiving dinner. If he comes, we won't have to wear a mask, and if he doesn't come, we'll have something to be grateful for. 

President Biden addressed reporters in the White House Monday amid growing concerns over his administration's policies. We are seeing the rise of a regime that forces women to cover their faces, prevents children from going to school and canceled free speech. And the Taliban is even worse. 

The White House admitted Monday it was completely surprised by the speed in which Tailiban forces advanced toward Kabul after the U.S. cut off military support of the Afghan Army and prepared to withdraw. It was game over. Kabul fell faster than Joe Biden walking up a flight of stairs. 

The State Department stated Monday the U.S. hopes the Taliban will establish a representative and inclusive government. And what'll we do if every member of their Taliban Ruling Council is an angry brown man with a beard, cancel them from social media? Who left the bag of idiots open? 

China and Russia were reported Monday making diplomatic overtures toward the new Taliban regime. They're eager to fill the Big Power vacuum left by the departing Americans. Meanwhile the Nobel Prize Committee nominated President Biden for the Nobel Peace Prize for not being Trump. 

The Taliban leaders agreed to allow American citizens in Kabul to return safely to the United States Monday. There's no reason why we can't continue trading with each other. Joe left behind so many advanced military weapons, soon the Taliban will be our best customer for replacement parts. 

President Biden returned to Camp David where he'd laid low since the Afghan crisis unfolded Friday. His administration had no plan in place yet to evacuate U.S. military hardware, the military and civilians. Biden's handling of the catastrophe was so inept even CNN is claiming that Trump won. 

Nancy Pelosi paid lip service to supporting Biden Monday, then threatened the Taliban if they brutalize Afghan women and girls or deny them education and careers. It didn't exactly calm everybody down. It's so bad in Kabul right now women are booking seats on Jeffrey Epstein's plane. 

The White House was rocked by the bi-partisan denunciation of the administration's Afghan withdrawal debacle and began searching for the best course of action now. On Tuesday at Camp David, President Biden consulted with intelligence officials, who advised him to extend his vacation. 

President Biden blamed his botched evacuation on the Afghan Army claiming they refused to fight, disregarding that the Afghan Army lost sixty-six thousand men fighting the war. As for Joe's own military service, back in college he got five draft deferments to keep him out of the War of 1812. 

The Taliban surrounded the Kabul Airport during evacuations Tuesday but allowed flights to proceed out of the country. As the reporters talked, you could hear the airport announcements in the background. They informed Afghan passengers that the wheel-well is now open for pre-boarding. 

The White House kept President Biden under wraps most of last week to allow events in Kabul to play out as they may. Circumstances are pressuring the president to take a harder line. Last night, President Biden walked outside the White House and shouted at the Taliban to get off his lawn. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

(Thank you, Chickadee)

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