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Today's Toons 8/16/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

House Democrats along with a few anti-Trump House Republicans hosted a hearing to probe into the January 6th Capitol incursion by pro-Trump protestors. The protestors learned that storming the Capitol doesn't work. The next time they want to change an election result, they'll just mail it in. 

President Biden addressed the nation Thursday and spelled out his plan to wipe out the Delta variant and put the virus behind us. We can only hope the plan will work. The White House wants to require vaccination and face masks unless you can provide proof that you crossed the border illegally. 

Speaker Pelosi announced she's mandating the wearing of face masks on the House floor by all Members of the House of Representatives. Yet Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer did not mandate masks in the Senate. Apparently science disappears somewhere in the middle of the Rotunda. 

Japan drew praise for hosting the Olympic Games with dignity considering the pandemic that roiled the world and incited suspicions throughout Asia. This week it raised eyebrows when an NBC analyst praised a Chinese gymnast for having an infectious smile. It originated in a gym in Wuhan. 

The National Highway Safety Administration reports the increase in summer vacation traffic across America is making roads more dangerous. This past year, thirty-eight thousand Americans died from automobiles. The CDC is recommending you wear a mask over the front hood of your car. 

The L.A. Times conceded the latest Covid impositions from the L.A. County Health Department have been met by widespread grumbling and in many cases, open defiance. Yet it had to be done. Last week, Los Angeles officials re-imposed the mask mandates due to an alarming spike in freedom. 

Dr. Fauci was ripped in the Senate for issuing selective rules on everything from face masks to shutdowns. The bureaucracy never rests. The CDC just announced that by replacing your potato chips with a grapefruit as a snack, you can reduce by ninety percent what little joy you have left in life. 

The Centers for Disease Controls worked hand in hand with the cable news channels all week to spread the alarm of increasing Delta variant cases without mentioning the huge decline in deaths. Yesterday a repairman finally succeeded in isolating the virus. It was inside the TV all along. 

Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot cited the need for public safety in ordering cops to stop chasing suspects on foot. It didn't end there. In response the Chicago Police just replaced the sirens in their patrol cars with the national anthem to force fleeing suspects to stop running and take a knee. 

Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool. 

Governor Cuomo was questioned for hours over sex harassment charges. He has responded to accusations he gave unwanted hugs the same way he'd answer if accused of beheading a movie studio owner's horse. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. 

President Biden addressed the country on the state of the virus and vaccination rates Tuesday at his White House press conference. He was very concerned about the growing problem in Texas and Florida. The new Freedom variant is causing people to ignore the government and live their lives. 

New York Mayor De Blasio decreed that all restaurants and bars must require all customers to show proof of vaccination. Almost all non-vaccinated New Yorkers are black and Hispanic, leaving restaurant and bar patrons overwhelmingly white. Progressives must admit they did Nazi that coming. 

President Biden's decision to ask Cuomo to resign recalled former staffer Tara Reade's charges against Joe Biden in March of last year. She accused Biden of forcing her up against his office wall and putting his two middle fingers in her. But knowing Joe, he probably thought he was bowling. 

Governor Cuomo aired a slide show of him kissing political leaders on the cheek throughout his career. He was apparently trying to explain it's no different than when he gropes women's rear ends and breasts. Governor Cuomo is having the craziest week of his political career until next week. 

Dr. Fauci said the Delta variant could mutate into a virus-resistant form if vaccinations aren't completed. He mentions infections but never the plummeting death rate. Dr. Fauci reminds me of the doctor who put a printed slogan on his office wall that reads A Cured Patient is a Lost Customer. 

Bill Gates appeared on CNN Thursday and apologized for hanging out with notorious Jeffrey Epstein, saying all they had was dinner. He needn't worry. Gates had himself injected with the Kennedy-Clinton-Biden-Cuomo vaccine which makes him immune to any sexual misconduct charges. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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pookie18
34 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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