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Today's Toons 8/2/21


pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

President Biden decided to spend the weekend at Camp David in Maryland after a hectic week in Washington. Joe is still mourning the loss of his beloved dog Major. A few weeks ago, Major leaped up onto the kitchen table and ate a steak that Kamala had prepared especially for the president. 

The Weather Channel aired video of violent thunderstorms ransacking the Midwestern states Tuesday with damage to homes and businesses in the Ohio Valley. In Toledo, a George Floyd Memorial was destroyed by a lightning strike. President Biden vowed that we will get whoever did this. 

Homeland Security warned anti-socialism protestors in Cuba not to take boats to escape to the U.S. The last thing the administration wants is an influx of Republicans in Florida. If they want to be welcome in the U.S., they should sail to Mexico then walk across the border disguised as Democrats. 

President Biden denounced the Texas Voter ID law with historic hyperbole Tuesday. He said that the Texas bill requiring photo ID or a Social Security number to vote has to be the greatest threat to our democracy since the Civil War. Biden is just fortunate to have dodged the draft for that conflict. 

Japan issued its formal order against attendance at the Tokyo Olympic Summer Games next month. Due to the country's Covid emergency, there will be no spectators at the venues. American athletes won't know if they're at a Florida Marlins home game, the WNBA playoffs or a Biden rally. 

White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki stood by the administration's right to ask Facebook to censor posts that argue against vaccinations. Jen was invited Sunday to take part in the pre-game ceremony before the Washington Nationals game. She was on hand to throw out the first amendment. 

The White House asked Facebook to censor purported vaccine disinformation Thursday. The administration wants a concerted national effort. On Sunday Biden returned from Camp David early and he was happy to see Hunter and his friends vaccinating themselves behind the White House. 

Miami saw huge protests in support of the freedom protestors in Cuba Sunday. They appear to be stuck in Cuba after the White House told the protestors not to come to the U.S. All this week, the Cuban people are identifying themselves as Texas Democrats in a last-ditch effort to get help fleeing. 

Texas Democratic legislators fled Austin to avoid a vote on the Voter Photo ID bill and flew to Washington together to deny Texas Republicans a quorum. However while they are away, several have caught Covid. But they can't get medicine from the pharmacist without showing their photo ID. 

President Biden took back his statement that Facebook is killing people, saying it's misinformation on FB that's killing people. Joe's adlibs should always end with the all-clear signal. At his latest press conference, President Biden lost his train of thought and there were no survivors. 

Texas Democratic lawmakers who fled to Washington on a plane together continued testing positive. Now they're spreading it all over the U.S. Capitol. This is turning into the worst trip since Charlie Manson handed out mushrooms then sent his family on a stroll through Beverly Hills. 

GOP Congressman Ronnie Jackson doubts the president's mental acuity and demanded that Biden take a cognitive test. However I'd never question his seriousness of purpose. On Sunday Joe lost his aviator sunglasses and called it the worst challenge to our democracy since the Civil War. 

President Biden blamed China for recent cyber-attacks on Microsoft at the risk of his friendship with President Xi. In addition to running China, Xi is a known patron of the art world. By this September, Xi will be the owner of the world's largest collection of Hunter Biden masterpieces. 

President Biden caved in to pressure agreeing, to address the plight of the Cuban protestors in Havana, saying Cuba's leaders should listen to the people and supply the people their needs, rather than enriching themselves. The reply from Cuba's leaders was brief. You first. 

Tokyo's government ignored massive street protests against the Olympics being held in Japan due to the threat of athletes spreading Covid. I'm worried about the spread of Woke. Right now the betting favorite in the one-hundred meter dash is a biological Cheetah who identifies as a woman. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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(Thank you, Reiuxcat)

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