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Today's Toons 5/3/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

Nancy Pelosi vowed to get the Infrastructure Bill passed that is ten percent infrastructure and ninety percent goodies, financed by a tax hike. Congress has always lived by the same motto. If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for life, but if you give him someone else's fish he will vote for you. 

The Wall Street Journal expressed concern Tuesday that colleges have become way too active in promoting leftist political views. A recent poll shows that only forty percent of college students believe in free speech. The rest of the students think that speech should be paid for by the government. 

The National Retailers Association reported that retail sales this quarter have enjoyed a huge rebound. Target in Minneapolis helped by holding their semi-annual Everything Is Free sale. For more savings, use the promo code George Floyd to receive a one hundred percent discount from Nike. 

U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters picked up a bullhorn and shouted at the Minneapolis street protestors Sunday and demanded they be even more confrontational with the police that night. We're lucky that Maxine did not call for a peaceful protest. You can ask Trump how much trouble THAT caused. 

Democratic former presidential nominee Walter Mondale died Monday at age ninety-three. He lost to Reagan in a landslide in 1984. During that campaign, Walter Mondale said he felt that God has no place in American politics, and apparently G d felt the same way about Walter Mondale. 

Minneapolis, Raleigh and Portland protestors continued rioting, looting and burning Monday over white cops killing black suspects resisting arrest. A holiday might help. How about for one day a year, we observe Just Obey the Damned Law Day, if only to give both sides a chance to re-load. 

The George Floyd trial went to the jury Monday after final arguments by the prosecution and the defense counsels. The bench expressed anger over outside attempts to sway their verdict. The judge instructed all twelve jurors to disregard Maxine Waters as she poured gasoline over their heads. 

U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters was ripped by the judge in the George Floyd case Monday for trying to incite a riot ahead of the verdict. Many wonder why she'd risk a mistrial like this. My guess is, Maxine's biggest campaign donor is the National Association of Window Replacement Contractors. 

President Biden announced Monday U.S. Border Patrol agents and Immigration and Customs officers may no longer refer to people who cross the U.S. border illegally as illegal aliens. The name demeans their role in the cross-border transport of goods. From now on they will be called Methicans. 

The White House announced Joe's German Shepherd Major will leave for more training after two biting incidents and a mess in a hall. I hate to see Major taken away to obedience school. Ten bucks says by the time Democrats finish re-educating Joe's guard dog, he will be Caitlyn Jenner's cat. 

President Biden labeled George Floyd's death a symbol of America's systemic racism. Pelosi likened Floyd's death to that of Christ's. There had to be some hurt feelings in the pharmaceutical industry after the verdict, when not one of the politicians thanked Fentanyl for making it all possible. 

President Biden interjected his opinion into the George Floyd murder trial Tuesday while the jury was deliberating. The president had previously called George Floyd's family to offer them his prayers. Joe got George Floyd's number from Hunter, they had the same drug dealer in Minneapolis. 

President Biden issued an executive order restricting the English language used by U.S. Border Patrol agents to the media. He has banned use of the word alien, they are to be called Non-Citizen Migrant. So the Hollywood film Alien vs. Predator becomes Non-Citizen Migrant vs. Andrew Cuomo. 

Oklahoma is reportedly stuck with one million doses of hydroxychloroquine. It's the malaria tablet that cured Covid until the media disallowed any cures before Election Day. Malaria turns you hot and yellow, which means soon you're bound to have Congressman Eric Swalwell in love with you. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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