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Today's Toons 3/29/21

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 

In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's sixth accuser Thursday upped the pressure to a sexual assault and groping charge against him. He's still in office. So, according to the Rules of the New Normal, we can drop a cartoon skirt-chasing skunk but not a governor who's a cartoonish skirt-chasing skunk. 

Walt Disney canceled Dumbo, the Aristocats and Peter Pan on the Disney Channel following woke complaints. Now they're after Universal to pull the shark movie Jaws. Lately it's been one cancellation after other for the Average White, so don't expect any breaks it if you're the Great White. 

President Biden spoke to the nation on the pandemic's first anniversary on Thursday. Lately the politicians in Washington forget they're addressing free-born Americans. Joe Biden announced that we may be allowed to gather on July 4th in small groups, or in large groups if we just ignore him. 

President Biden addressed the nation Thursday to mark the one-year anniversary of the Covid pandemic declaration. He can be awkward and painful to watch. I think that Joe's next televised speech will go a lot more smoothly if he just turns the Teleprompter around and lets us read it instead. 

The Pentagon announced Thursday it will maintain a few thousand National Guard troops in Washington D.C. to protect the U.S. Capitol. This has gotten way out of hand. The fence at the U.S. Capitol is so high that average citizens are hiring Mexican coyotes to take them to their Congressmen. 

President Biden assured the nation Thursday that Covid relief checks would start going out to the American people last weekend. You have a choice of disbursements. You may receive your fourteen hundred dollar relief check in the mail or you can have it direct-deposited to your gas station. 

Dr. Fauci went on Steven Colbert's Late Show on CBS Friday night and he urged Americans to keep wearing masks well into the period of recovery from Covid. Some people really overdo it. It seems to me that wearing a mask while you're driving all alone is only helpful if you just stole the car. 

NASA reports the asteroid Apophis flew closely by the Earth Friday. They said it'll strike the Earth in six years. It's amazing, scientists can scan the solar system and compute when an asteroid will arrive in six years but nobody can figure out how the hell Joe Biden made it into the White House. 

Looney Tunes star Pepe LePew was canceled by Warner Brothers for glorifying womanizing and making it comical. He'll no longer be in movies or on TV. Now my young grand-nephew can get back to playing Grand Theft Auto, where he just set a hooker on fire so he doesn't have to pay her. 

British TV host Piers Morgan stormed off the set as he caught hell for saying he didn't believe a word Meghan told Oprah. The world is mad. New York Governor Cuomo is not in trouble for killing hundreds of nursing home patients, he is in trouble for making six young women feel uncomfortable. 

The White House sent the Secretary of State to Alaska to meet with Chinese Foreign Ministry officials to set up a meeting between President Biden and Chinese President Xi and his ruling cabinet. Let's do it. Joe Biden has been president for fifty days, it's about time he met with the owners. 

President Biden started catching flak this week for laying low and avoiding press conferences and putting off a State of the Union speech. However the president went on the air to address the nation to mark the one-year anniversary of the shutdown. He delivered a Fireside Nap. 

L.A. allowed its restaurants to open indoors to one-quarter capacity Monday. I headed straight for the Polo Lounge. They pour a Creme Anglaise on top of the strawberries that is so white and so rich that House Democrats just doubled the tax on it and demanded that it apologize for its privilege. 

President Biden said by July Fourth we'll all be celebrating freedom from Covid. Freedom is the ability to say or do anything you want. As long as it's approved by the cops, federal authorities, your boss, your parents, your spouse, Dr. Fauci, the Cancel Culture and the Facebook racism monitor. 

Governor Andrew Cuomo was hit by a seventh female accuser Friday, prompting new calls for his resignation. Many people have been disgusted by his behavior but a few are impressed. The good news is, Cuomo was just offered work making bootleg cartoons as the new voice of Pepe LePew. 

The London Daily Mail released public opinion polls Friday revealing that the huge majority of Britons did not like Meghan slamming the Royal Family. Now it's time to pay. Hillary Clinton just got a call from the Queen saying that Meghan has information that could lead to Hillary's arrest. 

Columbia University announced Tuesday it will join seventy-five other universities nationwide and hold separate graduation ceremonies for black and white students. Am I a kid back in 1950s Oklahoma again? During the riots in Portland Sunday, Antifa put back up three Confederate statues. 

-- Argus Hamilton 


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Thanks for the Monday toons. 🙂

(I heard Joe Biden wants to repeal the law of gravity so he won't fall on the stairs) 😉

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9 minutes ago, MISBAILEY said:


Thanks for the Monday laughs. 🙂

My pleasure, MISBAILEY! (& good choice, pussycat!)

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38 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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