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Today's Toons 3/15/21


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter R: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

HHS nominee Xavier Becerra vowed to add on to Obamacare coverage Wednesday in Senate hearings. It's been a ten-year war. If Republicans want to get rid of Obama Care once and for all, they should promote it as a conservative news site and big tech will see that it vanishes without a trace. 

Hillary Clinton revealed last week that she's at home writing a mystery novel. These are happy times at Chappaqua. Hillary is thrilled knowing that Trump is out of the White House while Bill can't stop giggling over the fact that Trump got impeached twice without getting any oral sex out of it. 

Cherokee Nation officials in Oklahoma asked the automaker Fiat Chrysler which owns Jeep to agree to change the name of the Jeep Cherokee. The automaker agreed to do so out of proper respect for the Cherokee tribe. Jeep will instead manufacture a knockoff called the Elizabeth Warren. 

House Republicans warned Tuesday that the fifteen dollar an hour minimum wage will lay off two million employees. The firings have already begun. After endorsing Coca-Cola for the past one hundred years, Santa Claus was told he was too white and that his services were no longer needed. 

Hasbro announced its popular Mr. Potato Head will now be marketed as simply Potato Head to show corporate sensitivity toward the arbitrary labeling of sexes. Mr. Potato Head is now just a gender-neutral vegetable with bizarre plastic facial expressions. It's also the new co-host on The View. 

President Biden ordered missile strikes on locations in eastern Syria where Iranian-sponsored militias were encamped. The media was right there by the president's side. CNN reported that the missile strike was mostly peaceful, launched by the most diverse cabinet ever to bomb the Middle East. 

The Weather Channel warns the dry winter in Southern California is starting to bring wildlife down from the foothills into the suburbs looking for food. On Friday a huge California Brown Bear was shown on local news strolling through Monrovia. He starts his new job with Coca-Cola tomorrow. 

Mr. Potato Head's name was restored in small letters to the front bottom of the box Thursday under the headline name Potato Head after a public outcry. It never ends. In further news, Idaho Potatoes will no longer be referred to as Idaho, because many feel it demeans sex workers named Ida. 

Dr. Seuss' assault by the cancel culture sparked outrage from three generations raised on his books. Suddenly some of his stories were deemed offensive. It's too bad Dr. Seuss didn't write and illustrate a story about a kid with two daddies, one a pre-op trans-gender, then he'd be just fine today. 

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was hit with a third allegation of inappropriate sexual conduct toward women in the workplace, but he says he was just joking. However Cuomo is certainly not in any serious danger of losing his job. For Democrats, a sex scandal is a return to traditional values. 

The Golden Globes were held virtually Sunday with the stars attending via Zoom and resulting in no public interest and low ratings. Only crazy celebrities get noticed any more. This week, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin welcomed their sixth child, but the parents have yet to choose the baby's accent. 

The White House insisted there's no refugee crisis at the Mexico border Tuesday. Progressives believe the U.S. is a racist empire that favors the rich, jails its minorities and denies health care to the poor. And that it's wrong to stop Central Americans from coming here to enjoy its many blessings. 

President Biden announced plans to allow trans-gender men to compete as women in women's sporting events despite protests from female athletes. Muscle and hormonal differences have been dismissed. It turns out the Soviets didn't cheat in the Olympics, they were just way ahead of their time. 

House Democrats pushed a bill that would federalize all presidential elections and bypass the state legislatures and allow for mail-in voting with loose registration rules. The bill could result in permanent one-party rule. It's the last step before you shoot the Czar and his family in the basement. 

President Biden signaled to Europe that he plans to re-integrate U.S. foreign policy with NATO and increase the number of U.S. troops on the continent. Let no enemy doubt this administration's resolve. In just forty-eight days President Biden has already taken out Dr. Seuss and Mr. Potato Head. 

The Washington Football Team fired their cheerleading squad Tuesday and will replace them with a mixed gender dance troupe. To avoid cancellation, it must include males, females, gays, lesbians, trans-genders, and no genders of all races. This could make for a great new Dr. Seuss book. 

President Biden lost his cool over news that Texas and Mississippi are re-opening this week so Joe called them Neanderthals. First it was The Deplorables and now it's The Neanderthals. It seems like every time Americans stand up to Hillary or Joe, we get a great new name for a Punk Rock group. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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(Thank you, Mistysea)

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14 minutes ago, MISBAILEY said:

Thank you for the Monday smiles an hour earlier!

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You're welcome, MISBAILEY!

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1 hour ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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