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Today's Toons 2/22/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter C: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

Major League Baseball announced that the 2021 season will start in the nation's capital with the Washington Nationals home opener April 1st. Opening Day is always a big day for traditional ceremonies. Before the game, the CEO of Twitter will be on hand to throw out the First Amendment. 

House Democrats punished Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene for wacky past statements Thursday and led an attack on Republicans, linking them to Q-Anon. It's a conspiracy group with crazy beliefs. Q-Anons believe the Earth is flat, Mount Rushmore is a natural rock formation, and that Biden won. 

House Democrats suggested that the National Guard troops remain stationed in Washington for twenty years and purged of any conservative soldiers. The U.S. Capitol has been taken over by an angry mob again. Okay, they were elected, but they are doing a lot more damage than the last mob. 

Hunter Biden got a two million dollar advance for his upcoming memoir. A publisher giving a newly sober cokehead two million in cash is like the voters giving Schumer and Pelosi a majority, a Democratic president and the Covid Relief Bill. You can only feel so good before your heart explodes. 

The White House began extending offers to media outlets to do background feature stories on the First Family. People magazine last week ran a cover story titled The Twenty-Five Things You Didn't Know about Joe Biden. Joe is grateful for the article because he didn't know nineteen of them. 

John Kerry is catching flak after it was reported he took his private jet to Iceland to receive the Arctic Circle Award. He said a private jet is the only choice of travel for a person like himself. John Kerry could go down in history as the only environmentalist with a hole in the ozone named after him. 

The Centers for Disease Control on Friday welcomed the president's plan to have two hundred million vials of vaccine produced by this summer. It now appears that Biden has figured out a way to cut the number of Covid deaths in half. He's going to have Governor Cuomo do the counting. 

Governor Andrew Cuomo and brother CNN's Chris Cuomo are being ripped for whitewashing New York's nursing home Covid casualties last year. The Cuomos are the most famous murdering brother act since Lyle and Erik Menendez. The difference is, the Menendez brothers worked without make-up. 

Congresswoman AOC's tale of fear and terror fell apart when it was learned she wasn't in the U.S. Capitol during last month's sacking. Then came the nail in the coffin. NBC News anchor Brian Williams is reporting that on the day of the Trumper insurrection he was inside the Capitol with AOC. 

Senate Democrats will begin their constitutionally questionable trial of former President Trump today. The lawmakers believe they have the power to remove a president from office after he's left office. It's been twenty days since Trump moved out of the White House and into their heads. 

My Pillow guy Mike Lindell released a You Tube video called Absolute Proof in which he lays out a case that the 2020 election was stolen by Biden supporters. The video has been taken down by YouTube. If you Google it all you get is a photo of Hunter Biden in bed with a bottle of Absolut Proof. 

Senate Democrats commence their second trial of Donald Trump in the U.S. Senate Chamber. The president has decided to stay out of the trial and stay engaged on his job. On Monday, all President Biden had to say was to congratulate the Buccaneers and Chiefs on a great World Series. 

Donald Trump's trial began Tuesday as Senate Democrats assumed the rights of 17th century Parliament to try a private citizen. It's called a Bill of Attainder and it's expressly forbidden in the Constitution's Article 2. Anyone who points that out gets kicked off Twitter for quoting slave owners. 

House Democrats impeached Trump this time after he told his crowd to march to the Capitol and protest peacefully and patriotically. They will never forgive Trump for winning in 2016. Last year, Trump became the second president in history to be impeached for humiliating Hillary Clinton. 

Dr. Fauci advised wearing two masks to ensure the infection numbers keep trending down. Of course there are doubters who insist masks don't work. My neighbor doesn't believe masks stop the virus because his wife wore a mask on a recent business trip, and she came home with chlamydia. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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