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Today's Toons 2/8/21


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T: 
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(Thank you, cartoonist Rex May)

In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

Chief Justice John Roberts administered the Oath of Office to President Biden on Wednesday to begin a new chapter in U.S. history. Joe didn't forget his friends. After taking the oath of office in the swearing-in ceremony, Biden made it a point to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Voter. 

Kamala Harris made history Wednesday becoming America's first female vice-president. As a comedian, I can assure you that I won't do any jokes about Kamala Harris's affair with San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown when she worked under him. I don't want to embarrass Willie Brown. 

President Biden was sworn in as forty-sixth President of the United States with Kamala Harris eagerly looking on, and after Joe ended his Inaugural Address, he was immediately taken by limousine to Arlington National Cemetery. It left me with one thought. Wow, THAT was fast. 

The New York Post noted NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN and MSNBC are pushing together to hail the Biden presidency as a return to normalcy and end to polarization. Is that asking too much? They simply want the seventy-five million people they called Nazis for four years to tone down their rhetoric. 

First Lady Dr. Jill Biden brought thousands of cookies out to the U.S. troops now guarding the U.S. Capitol. D.C. appears to be secure from rioters be they on the left or on the right. The National Guard is keeping watch on Trump voters and the Biden voters are being guarded by the Ghostbusters. 

The Hill reports that GOP state legislators in Arizona, Michigan, Wisconsin and Georgia have bills to eliminate mail-in voting. Mail-in voting reminds me of the movie The Sting. It's a great story but there's no sense watching it a second time because you know they get away with it in the end. 

President Biden went right to work after inauguration and signed twenty-seven executive orders into action. I don't think the new president read all these executive orders before he signed them on camera. Biden had no idea Friday that he just co-signed a car loan for Eric Trump. 

The U.S. Senate will take two weeks preparing for Trump's upcoming trial. No mention of any progress on Covid relief. The government pays lawmakers a hundred seventy-five grand a year to spend nine months debating if the workers the government shut down deserve six hundred dollars. 

GOP Senators howled that Democrats trying an ex-president in the Senate is unconstitutional because he's a private citizen. Yet Chuck Schumer declared that Trump must be impeached for inciting an erection. Talk about double standards, isn't that exactly what got Bill Clinton impeached? 

House Democrats introduced bills authorizing surveillance of suspected conservative groups who question Joe Biden's election. Free thought and free speech are being targeted. Q Anon hasn't got a chance of surviving in this media climate unless it registers as a sexual preference in California. 

House Democrats delivered an article of impeachment to the Senate Monday to try to remove a president from office who's already out of office. It's not a move that unifies the nation. I sure hope the country is ready to move forward together by the time I get back from deprogramming camp. 

President Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani was sued by Dominion for $1.3 billion dollars this week for his public claim that the voting machines were rigged in Biden's favor. Dominion's Board of Directors voted 8-0 to file the lawsuit. Actually the vote was 4-4, but their machine made it 8. 

President Biden admitted Tuesday he'd misspoken when he said he wanted a million vaccines given a day when it was pointed out that Trump had already reached that level. He didn't shout, or denounce or deny or accuse, he just kept on talking. Joe Biden's so boring, paint watches HIM dry. 

Donald Trump created and chaired the new Office of the Former President Tuesday in Palm Beach. It's so sporting of Trump to give the Democrats another office they can try to remove him from. They're now determined that Trump must never again sit in the Office of the Former President. 

President Biden called for unity but refused to stop Democrats from conducting a Trump trial that'll never convict, but surely divide. Biden is like the guy who hangs out a business sign on Main Street which reads Veterinarian-Taxidermist. We guarantee that either way, you'll get your dog back. 

President Biden's signing rampage continued Thursday issuing a twenty-fifth executive order after ten days in office. Even the New York Times told him to calm down. Biden has signed so many executive orders that Congress is starting to wonder if there will be anything left for them to screw up. 

The Centers for Disease Controls announced a far more accurate test to see if you test positive for Covid than their previous test. Instead of inserting the Q-tip into your nose and swabbing it around to see if you've been infected they insert it anally. No way, not unless you buy me dinner first. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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4 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. 🙂

 

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You're welcome, Rcat!

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Just now, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!! 

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!

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