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Today's Toons 12/21/20


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0: 
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In Case You Missed It Dept.: 

The Centers for Disease Control urged Americans to be careful arranging holiday gatherings this month with the recent spike in infections, but one state went overboard. Oregon just banned all family get-togethers for Christmas. So if you're cooking anything in Oregon, it had better be meth. 

The White House urged the FDA to speed up its approval process for Pfizer's vaccine Thursday with millions of vials ready to go out. The CDC says prompt delivery of the vaccine could prevent ten thousand Americans from dying in January. Democrats are already calling that voter suppression. 

Barack Obama during his book tour Tuesday volunteered that he will take the Pfizer vaccine injection on live TV, in order to prove to doubters and anti-vaxxers that the vaccine is safe. I see it as a win-win situation. If he lives, then the vaccine is safe, and if he doesn't, then the country's safe. 

Joe Biden was asked by reporters Wednesday if he's worried about the progressive wing of the Democratic Party's reaction to his mostly centrist appointments. Nothing is easy. When asked if he was worried about the blowback, Biden said everything about Hunter's recovery is so far, so good. 

Rudy Giuliani produced more witnesses of election fraud to Michigan lawmakers Tuesday. At the same time, whistleblowers in Pennsylvania said thousands of mail-in votes were trucked in from New York. If Joe Biden ends up losing this election, his voters will be rolling over in their graves. 

The L.A. Times reports that today's Senate elections in Georgia have partisan nerves on edge in California as well. Last night while jogging in Beverly Hills, from one of the homes I overheard a loud family argument going on. A teenager was telling his parents that he's straight, and Republican. 

Governor Gavin Newsom seized more authority Friday, ordering California shutdowns based on hospital capacities. Last night when I tried to go to the ATM, I got in my Cadillac, I put my foot on the brake and I pushed the ignition button, but it wouldn't start. I forgot to say, Gavin may I? 

Joe Biden at his press briefing Friday addressed the upcoming transition, the vaccine delivery and the need for pandemic relief in his soft unobtrusive monotone. The excitement pendulum at presidential press briefings has swung the other way. Joe Biden is so boring, paint watches him dry. 

President-elect Joe Biden as reported by CNN last week broke his foot while running out of the shower to playfully chase down his dog. That's good and fair reporting. Had it been Donald Trump, the CNN banner deadline would be scrolling Naked Trump Breaks Foot while Chasing Tail. 

President-elect Joe Biden appeared in a press conference in Wilmington Friday wearing the protective ankle boot he has to wear after his accident last week at home in the shower. His vice president Kamala Harris is reported furious over Biden's broken ankle. She clearly said broken neck. 

NBC News praised Joe Biden for his honesty during a press conference Monday after he refused to answer a question. It's a new world. There was concern among reporters when one of their questions didn"t have the ten-foot arc on it, as required by the rules of slow-pitch softball. 

Maryland's state capitol building in Annapolis lowered its flags to half-staff Tuesday in honor of the state's longtime Democratic former U.S. Senator Paul Sarbanes. The senator passed away Tuesday morning at the age of eighty-seven. However, old Democrats never die, they just vote by mail. 

The House of Representatives passed a bill legalizing marijuana that may not pass the Senate but indicated that federal marijuana laws won't be enforced against states that legalize weed. So today, marijuana is legal but haircuts are not. It took fifty long years but the Hippies have finally won. 

-- Argus Hamilton 

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(Thank you, rdoughty)

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32 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. (BLM on the penny and His O'liness, Barack, on the $5 bill?)

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My pleasure, Rcat! (enough with the counterfeits! 😉

 

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