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Today's Toons 5/4/20


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The South China Post in Hong Kong reports that the government of China just sent Chinese surgeons to North Korea to check on Kim Jung Un's medical condition and try to save him. With any luck, they were too late. Hopefully, Kim was able to die before they could give him Corona Virus.

CNN pundits took turns questioning Trump's sanity after he ripped a CNN reporter for claiming in a question he wasn't prepared for the arrival of the Corona Virus. They network keeps a running virus death count on camera. It's little wonder that Darth Vader is the voice of CNN.

President Trump was ripped by CNN reporters Tuesday after he denounced CNN at his press conference for airing fake news. He should ignore them. Fox News is watched by conservatives, MSNBC is watched by liberals, and CNN is watched by the night crew that cleans the CNN building.

China faced condemnation when it became clear they didn't seal off Wuhan from the world as well as from China in January. It's a question of who you believe. The next day China got the media back on their side after revealing the virus was caused by two bats wearing MAGA hats.

Nancy Pelosi appeared live on CBS Late Night in her San Francisco home. She showed off her thirty-thousand-dollar refrigerator. The cardboard box alone provides housing for four just outside her security gate, including a huge bathroom on the luxurious winding sidewalk.

Joe Biden popped up in an interview on MSNBC Wednesday and leveled general charges of irresponsibility against the president. It was nice to see him. Ever since the sexual misconduct charges were leveled against him Sunday, Joe Biden has been harder to find than cheap toilet paper.

Joe Biden succeeded in unifying the Democratic Party behind him. The Democrats who ran against him are falling in line behind him. In one day, Joe Biden was endorsed by a Black candidate, an Asian candidate and a Hispanic candidate, and that was just Elizabeth Warren.

Fox News reports Pentagon sources say China sealed off contagious Wuhan from China but not from the world. Forget China, I have another theory. I think the DNC released the corona virus to keep Joe Biden from inappropriately touching women throughout the presidential campaign.

Psychology Today predicted it will take people time to adjust to life after quarantine following a month of living in lockdown. I spend all day at home, I waste hours online, I binge-watch TV and I have my food delivered. Yes, the virus sickened a lot of people but it turned me into a Millennial.

Nancy Pelosi entertained CBS viewers last week by inviting the Late Night with James Corden Show crew into her home for an interview in her kitchen. Nancy proudly showed TV viewers her $30,000 refrigerator filled with ice cream. And every carton was in her favorite flavor, Impeach Mint.

Massachusetts U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren became the last former Democratic presidential candidate to endorse Joe Biden Thursday. Revelations about Warren during the campaign have cost her a great deal of her personal credibility. As of Friday, her face is off the Land O' Lakes label.

Mike Pence flew to Colorado to give the commencement speech to the Air Force Academy on Saturday. Politicians must take extra precautions with crowds this year. Bill Clinton has no college commencement speeches scheduled because there is too much fear he could catch CO-ED-19.

President Trump had the Treasury Department put his name on all the $1,200 stimulus checks. It met no political opposition. My guess is, Democrats decided to allow Trump to put his name on all the stimulus checks, and in return they'll put Joe Biden's name on all the mail-in ballots.

Joe Biden's campaign received a huge boost when Barack Obama went on TV and threw his support behind Joe Biden's candidacy for President of the U.S. The candidate was overwhelmingly grateful. Joe immediately went on the air and thanked Dr. King for his endorsement.

President Trump spoke at a press conference and praised the American people for everything we've done to pull together during a year which we will never forget. It's one for the history books. So far, the most remarkable thing about 2020 is that nobody has died of natural causes.

-- Argus Hamilton

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THANKS POOKIE. WOULD BE A LOT HARDER TO START THE DAY WITHOUT YOUR TOONES. ESPECIALLY LIKE CALVIN THE DEPLORABLE.SEE YOU TOMORROW.

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DrPatReads

A-Number One: "Cause of Death: Corona Virus." That guy died of stupidity—or inattention. So, yeah.

Although the great "Idea: We suspend the pay of all Senators, Governors, and Congress[critters] and only allow them $1200 to live on for 11 weeks" is a very close second! Plus I will point out re: the Stilton's Place 'toon, that Joe Biden's salad days are long past...

Thanks for giving me that opportunity for cross-pollination, Pookie!

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1 hour ago, Oralee said:

THANKS POOKIE. WOULD BE A LOT HARDER TO START THE DAY WITHOUT YOUR TOONES. ESPECIALLY LIKE CALVIN THE DEPLORABLE.SEE YOU TOMORROW.

You're welcome, Oralee!

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10 minutes ago, DrPatReads said:

A-Number One: "Cause of Death: Corona Virus." That guy died of stupidity—or inattention. So, yeah.

Although the great "Idea: We suspend the pay of all Senators, Governors, and Congress[critters] and only allow them $1200 to live on for 11 weeks" is a very close second! Plus I will point out re: the Stilton's Place 'toon, that Joe Biden's salad days are long past...

Thanks for giving me that opportunity for cross-pollination, Pookie!

My pleasure & May the 4th Bee with you, DrPatReads!

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areyoukiddingme

Wife:

Husband:

Death notice:

...Showed my wife, even she smiled...I may need to measure the bruise, feels like a record

Happy 5/4 to you. Great week ahead

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5 minutes ago, areyoukiddingme said:

Wife:

Husband:

Death notice:

...Showed my wife, even she smiled...I may need to measure the bruise, feels like a record

Happy 5/4 to you. Great week ahead

Hope it's a 45 rather than a 33 1/2 RPM...

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50 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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