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Today's Toons 12/17/18


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

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(Thank you, cartoonist Rex May)

 

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

The Hollywood Reporter showed a chart Thursday showing that the TV ratings for Fox News and MSNBC have been soaring since Trump was elected. TV Guide is reporting even more good news from the TV networks. The Bush Funeral has just been picked up for twenty-two more episodes.

 

Kevin Hart's choice as Oscars host drew Hollywood protests because he has engaged in domestic violence and cheated on his wife while she was pregnant and made disparaging remarks about gays. It's a sensitive world. The NFL just suspended Hart six games in case he ever thinks about playing football.

 

Hillary Clinton looked absolutely miserable sitting in the front pew of the funeral for George Bush. You felt for her. Sitting to her right were two men who defeated her for president, and to her left was a husband sitting there with an I-have-a-presidential-library-and-you-don't smirk on his face.

 

Mike Bloomberg said he's giving serious thought to running for president. What a race we've got on our hands. The number of Democratic presidential candidate is now leading the number of Les Moonves's sexual misconduct accusers twenty-three to twenty, and we're just in the first quarter.

 

The New York Times quoted Elizabeth Warren's aides saying they are astounded she won't apologize for claiming to be Native American. It's been an issue for three years. Elizabeth Warren's only proof her family is Native American is an old family photograph of her as a child, sitting Indian-style.

 

PETA said using phrases like killing two birds with one stone is akin to using to racist, sexist, homophobic language. It gets worse. Progressives are demanding that radio stations stop playing the song Baby, It's Cold Outside, not because it promotes date rape, but because it denies global warming.

 

NBC News reported Monday that up to forty Democrats are planning to run for U.S. president in two years. The list includes fresh faces and old warhorses. It's being reported that Hillary plans to run, which may not work out when you remember that in the last campaign she couldn't even walk.

 

French president Emmanuel Macron retreated on his environmentally-friendly fuel tax that he'd levied to comply with the Climate Accords. A week of Paris burning and rioting from outraged Frenchmen backed him down. It's the first time in modern history that France surrendered to France.

 

Kevin Hart's firing as Oscar host over long-ago anti-gay tweets brought progressive orthodoxy under scrutiny Sunday. Its double standards are glaring. Being a progressive means you're fine with rap music calling women b-tches and hos, but you're deeply offended by Baby, It's Cold Outside.

 

The Oscars fired comic Kevin Hart as host after learning he tweeted politically incorrect jokes in the past. There's more. The Oscars just demanded Richard Pryor's statue in Peoria be taken down for making jokes about setting himself on fire, offending members of the Freebase community.

 

The CNN building in New York was evacuated then searched by the bomb squad after a package bomb threat was phoned in, scaring the daylights out of everybody. CNN employees, reporters and anchors couldn't get out fast enough. The package was rumored to contain Real News.

 

Heisman Trophy winner Kyler Murray apologized Sunday for homophobic tweets he posted when he was fourteen years old. The young man is truly sorry. It's cost him his lifelong dream of being the first man in history to play in the NFL, to play Major League Baseball and to host the Oscars.

 

France's President Emmanuel Macron gave in to the protestors who razed Paris over the gas prices he raised to reduce carbon emissions. It's not in the French government's character to put up much of a fight. French officials eat snails and frogs because anything bigger would kick their arses.

 

Vanity Fair reported that progressive feminist groups in New York are lobbying radio stations to take the song Baby It's Cold Outside off the air. They claim that the song is sexist and thus not politically correct. If Baby It's Cold Outside is considered sexist, I fear the worst for White Christmas.

 

President Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen was sentenced to three years Wednesday for lying to Congress and campaign finance violations. He said he regretted ever doing Trump's dirty deeds. Donald Trump didn't comment on Cohen's sentence but did vow to reduce the penalty for prison rape.

 

The Wall Street Journal reported the proposed tax by California regulators on cell phone texts is earmarked to pay for cell phones for the poor. My guess is that it’s just the start. If California slapped a tax on selfies, they could eliminate the gasoline tax and still balance the budget by Tuesday.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

 

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