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Today's Toons 9/24/18


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

The White House took fire Thursday as Hurricane Florence's approach resurrected the anger of Puerto Rico Democrats who say Trump neglected them after Maria. It never ends. Democrats are already irritated that Hurricane Florence is going to leave Confederate statues cleaner than ever.

 

Mike Pence led the World Trade Center attack commemoration in New York Tuesday. There's a concern young people don't appreciate the gravity of the day. MTV reported that Tuesday was a momentous and historic day in Manhattan, because someone finally ordered a salad at McDonald's.

 

Senator Dianne Feinstein tried to trip up the Kavanaugh nomination by producing a letter from someone who cites the nominee for sex misconduct back in high school. That's really reaching for closet skeletons. Back in high school, Brett's classmates voted him Most Likely to Lose a Supreme Court Nomination Because He Was Able to Unhook a Girl's Bra in Less Than a Quarter of a Second.

 

President Trump framed the fall election as a choice between voters who want border security or open borders. Let's face it, opportunity attracts people. Just yesterday five sexual predators were arrested attempting to re-enter the U.S. after hearing about the high-profile job openings at CBS.

 

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh vehemently denied a woman's claim he groped her at a party in high school saying he wasn't even there. The media smells blood. CNN reported Sunday that in the sixth grade, Brett Kavanaugh once went swimming twenty-five minutes after eating.

 

Senate Democrats fought to delay Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court confirmation vote until after the election, so if Democrats win the majority they can kill any Trump nominee. Nowadays, Washington politics is like having sex with Michael Moore. You are either on top, or you get crushed.

 

The U.S. Senate will hold hearings Monday to allow the accuser of fifty-three-year-old Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh a chance to testify that he groped her in high school. And that's not all. CNN reports that Brett Kavanaugh kicked a pregnant woman in the belly fifty-three years ago.

 

President Trump enjoyed a Hispanic Heritage Month party at the White House Monday. Two hundred guests were invited, and fifty sneaked in over the fence. They enthusiastically chanted "Four More Years!" but no one knows if it was for re-election, or construction delays on the border wall.

 

The Texas State School Board angered Democrats and the advocates for special needs people Monday by removing Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller from Texas history books. They're quite a pair. One was deaf, dumb and blind to what was going on around her, and the other was Helen Keller.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

While covering the Emmys last night, The New York Times confused actress Angela Bassett with former White House adviser Omarosa. Making matters worse, today the Times extended a heartfelt apology to Serena Williams.

 

-- Conan

 

New demand from Kavanaugh accuser Christine Blasey Ford: She will testify, but only from a ski lift. She'll be on a up chair & senators will yell Qs from the downward chairs.

 

Alternative offer from Christine Blasey Ford: She'll accept Grassley's offer for staffers to go to Palo Alto for her statement, IF they also paint her house & mow her lawn.

 

-- Ann Coulter

 

 

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(Thank you, Reaganite_Republican)

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11 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Happy Monday Pookie!! Thanks for the Toons, and have a great week!!

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!

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