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Today's Toons 5/14/18


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:



In Case You Missed It Dept.:


The White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington aired worldwide on CSPAN from the Hilton Ballroom on Saturday night. Michelle Wolf's phone is ringing off the hook with offers following her performance at the dinner. ISIS just called her agent and asked if she can drive a truck.


Dr. Ronny Jackson did not resume his duties as the White House physician Friday after he failed to become VA Secretary. He's still making a difference. Right after the White House Correspondents Dinner, Jackson wrote Sarah Huckabee Sanders a Vicodin prescription, saving Michelle Wolf's life.


The White House Correspondents Association issued an apology Monday for the performance of dinner headliner Michelle Wolf. She was vulgar and crass and loud, and the consequences for her outrageous performance were swift. She's now leading Biden by ten points in New Hampshire.


Stormy Daniels sued President Trump for defamation of character Monday for ridiculing the sketch artist rendition of the man she said threatened her in a parking garage. She's new to fame. When all of your movies are twelve minutes long, it's hard to know when your fifteen minutes are up.


South Korea President Moon Jae-in nominated President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize for bringing Kim Jung Un to the peace table. What a turnaround. Kim admits he originally wanted to destroy America but then he realized social media beat him to it, so he agreed to negotiate with Trump.


President Trump will address the NRA convention this weekend in Dallas. It never ends. The Democrats have tried forcing a recount, changing Electoral College votes, the Russia probe, FBI subterfuge and a porn star to get rid of Trump, and now they're down to the old drive through Dallas.


Rudy Giuliani explained Trump reimbursed his lawyer Michael Cohen for the one hundred thirty grand in hush money paid to Stormy Daniels. The same day, Trump hired Bill Clinton's lawyer in the Monica Lewinsky case. She didn't do such a good job of keeping her mouth shut either.


Rudy Giuliani told Sean Hannity's show Wednesday that President Trump reimbursed the one hundred and thirty grand his lawyer paid the porn star in hush money. The media went wild with speculation over Trump's involvement in the payoff. Mexico just offered to pay for the impeachment.


President Trump signed an executive order on National Prayer Day giving religious institutions the right to promote their faith in their community outreach programs. That's a switch. It's hard to believe only a couple of years ago under Obama it was punishable by death to say Merry Christmas.


Stormy Daniels told reporters Saturday she wouldn't trust attorney Michael Cohen to clean up after her horse, much less the president. It's come to this. It's taken two-hundred-forty years, but actresses who perform fellatio on camera for a living now have the moral high ground in Washington.


President Trump hosted a business roundtable in Ohio Saturday focusing on the economy and jobs and immigration. The guy really knows how to get the crowd on his side. Halfway through the presentation, Trump promised to change Cinco de Mayo to May 5th and make the Mexicans pay for it.


New York's Attorney General Eric Schneiderman was accused by four women of engaging in bondage sex with them without their permission. I blame pop culture. The Beatles had my entire generation brainwashed into thinking that all you need is love, and it turns out you also need consent.


John Kerry admitted talking to Iranian officials to try to save his nuclear deal and stop a war with the U.S. Kerry has to hope he did a better job than he did stopping the Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War and the Iraq War. Senator Kerry couldn't stop a ketchup fight during a Heinz family picnic.


Hillary Clinton was spotted wearing a back brace under her jacket in New Zealand during her world speaking tour. Her foundation has been promoting marriage equality in developing countries. Of course, Hillary Clinton's idea of marriage equality is that both of you get to be president.


John Kerry ripped President Trump Tuesday for canceling the Iran nuclear deal which Kerry had brokered. Kerry even tried personal diplomacy last week but failed to get the U.S. and Iran to the table. If there's one thing we have learned about diplomacy it's that John Kerry is no Dennis Rodman.


New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art used the Catholic Church as the theme of this year's ball Monday. The N.Y. archdiocese supported the church theme as publicity for God's ever-present healing hand. A brain-dead boy miraculously came back to life Friday, so there's hope for Democrats.


Barack Obama objected to Trump's canceling the Iran deal on Tuesday. In sixteen months, Trump has gutted Obamacare, signed orders overturning Obama's restrictions on ICE agents and on offshore drilling, pulled out of Obama's Paris climate treaty and Obama's Iran deal. It's left Obama with such a conservative legacy that he's just been offered a peerage and a seat in the House of Lords.


The New York Post reported all the salacious details of Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's whips-and-chains love life on Tuesday. He has resigned in disgrace. He's so angry at the New York Post for publishing the details of his bondage fetish that he's threatened to cancel all his personal ads.


President Trump went against the advice of America's European allies Tuesday in repudiating the Iran nuclear deal. The cable news networks immediately went to their battle stations. Fox News reported that President Trump pulled out of a bad deal with Iran, MSNBC reported that President Trump pulled out of a good deal with Iran, while CNN openly wished that Fred Trump had pulled out.


President Trump stayed up till two in the morning to welcome home the three freed Americans from North Korea. The media war raged on. Fox News touted Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize and CNN reported that all three Americans had asked to remain in North Korea until Trump leaves office.


-- Argus Hamilton




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22 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

You're welcome & the same to you, mass55th!

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8 minutes ago, RagingGoose said:

Killer toons today Pook I will spread them like a fart in a whirlwind!

Glad you liked 'em & will be spreading them (by any means necessary), RagingGoose!

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