Today's Toons 3/5/18

[pookie18]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:

(Thank you, cartoonist Rex May)

 

In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

Focus on the Family called for a renewal of family time together and family spiritual practice together to help heal our tension-riddled culture. Yet remember, it could always be worse. If you think there is tension in your family, picture the Clintons sitting down to breakfast on Presidents Day.

 

Joe Biden got the jump on Hillary, Bernie Sanders and Jerry Brown Tuesday by admitting he that he may run for president. The four Democrats have a combined age of three hundred years. They can't attend memorial services at Arlington Cemetery without being stalked by guys with shovels.

 

The White House dismissed the New York Times poll rating Trump as the worst U.S. president as typical badgering by the mainstream media. It never ends. President Trump could walk across the Potomac River and the next day the headline in the New York Times would read Trump Can't Swim.

 

A Seattle author posted a photo protesting what he thought was a Confederate flag flying over a home. It was only a Norwegian flag flown by Olympic fans. If there are two things that anger West Coast liberals it's the Confederacy and anybody who won't sign the California secession petition.

 

Kathy Griffin asked to host the White House Correspondents Dinner if President Trump will attend. No one likes the idea. Republicans are furious at Kathy for posting a photo last year of her holding up a decapitated head of Trump, and Democrats are still furious at her because it wasn't real.

 

President Trump drew gasps from the White House press corps Monday saying he'd have run into the Florida school unarmed to subdue the shooter. Suppose he pulled it off? Fox News would have declared him a national hero and CNN would've cited Trump for groping a child in a high school.

 

President Trump took the bully pulpit at the White House Monday to criticize Broward County sheriffs for hiding behind their cars while the gunman was shooting up Parkland's high school in Florida two weeks ago. A Broward County cop walks into a bar. At least HE gets in a couple of shots.

 

Academy Award nominee Gary Oldman got my vote for Best Actor after enjoying his portrayal of Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour on Monday. The immortal Englishman saved our culture. If Hitler had won World War II most Americans would be speaking German today instead of Spanish.

 

The CIA's profile on North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un was made public and it reveals Kim's personal vices. The dossier says Kim likes to snort cocaine, take Viagra, date teenage girls and he loves NBA basketball. You'd think he's use his nuclear arsenal to defend Los Angeles, not attack it.

 

Barbara Streisand blasted President Trump Tuesday, claiming he's responsible for the Parkland school shootings and that he creates a violent atmosphere. She lives strictly by the code of the Hollywood liberal. It is my mission in life to protect you from everything and everybody except me.

 

The Republican National Committee revealed in a tax filing that a former bodyguard of Trump is on the party payroll making fifteen thousand dollars a month. He's been a personal bodyguard, a New York cop and Navy SEAL. He's trying to accumulate enough credits to become a schoolteacher.

 

President Trump got the green light from a federal judge Monday to waive environmental law obstacles to building his Mexican border wall. He now has a clear path. Environmentalists were fighting construction of the wall, claiming it would halt the migration pattern of the Future Democrat.

 

Jeff Sessions said the Justice Department will probe how opposition research came to be used to obtain a FISA warrant from a federal judge to bug Trump's post election. It was a fishing expedition looking for collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians. U.S. troops and Russian troops are firing on each other in Syria right now, but the Democrats remain unconvinced.

 

Oscar night in Hollywood Sunday will showcase women and the Me Too movement sweeping the movie industry. Some of the sex misconduct claims have re-energized flagging careers. Harvey Weinstein is going to star in a brand-new reality series that's called Keeping Up with the Accusations.

 

The Weather Channel reported a strong winter storm dumping snow on the mountains which surround Los Angeles down to the two-thousand-foot level Tuesday. It looked just spectacular. No one's seen this many snowflakes in Los Angeles since UCLA hosted the White Privilege Conference.

 

President Trump met with GOP and Democratic lawmakers in the Cabinet Room to hammer out a school protection bill together Wednesday. The devil is in the details. Trump wants to arm the schoolteachers with hand guns, which probably means they'll have to use a silencer in the library.

 

The Supreme Court ordered Trump to comply with a lower court stay on his power to deport DACA illegals until the case reaches the top. Obama admitted them illegally and now it's illegal for Trump to deport them. It finally rained in L.A. Tuesday after God got permission from a federal judge.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

A little Republican boy and a little Democrat boy were fighting over how to share a new sled.

 

The little democrat boy suggested a compromise.

 

"I'll take the sled downhill", he said, "and you take the sled uphill".

 

Little Mitch McConnell said "Fine, I'm glad to see you're willing to work together".

 

 

[Reiuxcat]

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. :-)

[mass55th]

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

[pookie18]

2 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. :-)

You're welcome, Rcat!

[pookie18]

1 minute ago, mass55th said:

Thanks for the Toons Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure & the same to you, mass55th!