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Today's Toons 3/27/17


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & W:



In Case You Missed It Dept.:


President Trump pressed his charge that Barack Obama wiretapped him as Democrats looked in vain for evidence of Trump-Russian collusion Wednesday. The ire is intractable. The latest poll reveals that one hundred percent of Americans think fifty percent of Americans have lost their minds.


President Trump stood by his charge Wednesday that the Obama administration surveilled his Trump Tower office. A thought hit me while microwaving my bacon this morning. If the CIA is watching, would one of your agents call me and tell me where I left my keys when I got in last night?


Former Director of National Intelligence Jim Clapper said Sunday he found no evidence of Trump's campaign colluding with the Russians last year. No one heard him. Tonight Rachel Maddow will investigate to see if Vladimir Putin is conspiring to help Trump University win the NCAA basketball tournament.


President Trump announced Wednesday he will receive his full four hundred thousand dollar presidential salary and then donate it to a charity at the end of the year. He's in the same boat as the rest of us. I just filled out my March Madness tax bracket, and I'm picking the IRS to take it all.


President Trump's travel ban on immigrants from terrorist-ridden countries was overturned by a judge in Hawaii Thursday. The influx continues. The Daily Mail reports that Mohammed is now the most common boys name in Great Britain, however the Abduls have demanded a recount.


Rachel Maddow's attempt to nail Trump on his taxes backfired when she uncovered his 2005 return Tuesday showing he paid thirty-eight million. He's furious over the leak of his tax return. It'll go down as the day Rachel Maddow surpassed Rosie O'Donnell as Trump's least favorite lesbian.


German Chancellor Angela Merkel met President Trump at the White House on Friday. They have fences to mend. Trump's exasperated that Merkel let a million Muslim refugees into Germany, and she's mad that the CIA wiretapped and spied on U.S. citizens and paid no royalties to the Gestapo.


President Trump's travel ban from terror states was blocked by a Hawaii judge Tuesday. Soon the president will only be able to give us dietary tips for our safety. For instance, they say eating two strips of bacon for breakfast reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by one-hundred percent.


Hillary Clinton spoke at a St. Patrick's Day luncheon Friday and did not deny reports that she is seriously considering running for Mayor of New York City. Her people say she's learned from her mistakes. She's already planning to campaign extensively in Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania.


President Trump submitted his first budget to Congress Tuesday and titled it America First: A Budget Blueprint to Make America Great Again. It adds fifty-four billion dollars for defense and it cuts funding for PBS. Today's episode of Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters W,T and F.


Joe Biden urged Democrats to act more civil and not risk permanently losing Democrats who voted for Trump. Voters change parties all the time. My Uncle Frank was a staunch conservative who voted straight Republican until the day he died in Chicago, and since then he's voted Democrat.


The Los Angeles Times reported Monday that fabulously wealthy Malibu has just declared itself a sanctuary city. They vowed to protect fugitive illegals from capture, prosecution and deportation. This is Southern California's way of letting Roman Polanski know that the coast is clear.


Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey was found in Mexico by the FBI Monday after it was stolen by a reporter. Democrats had to wince. Tom's a friend of the president, and the last thing you want to give a Trump supporter is more evidence of a dishonest media and the need for a wall with Mexico.


Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch went before the Judiciary Committee Monday. His fate may depend on the Russian probe in the House Intelligence Committee. Democrats were quick to point out that Supreme Court appointments cannot be made during the last year of a president's term.


Home Improvement star Tim Allen made news on the Jimmy Kimmel Show when he slammed Hollywood for its vitriol toward President Trump. People here are terrified of being associated with him. Because of Donald Trump, my Santa Monica friend Donald just changed his name to Adolf.


The New York Post reports that a tourist is suing a New York bar for refusing to serve him for wearing a Make America Great Again hat. He clearly can't think for himself. Last fall the crafty Russians used their evil space rays to move his hand away from Hillary Clinton's name on the ballot.


President Trump ripped the Hawaii judge who stayed his travel ban from terror areas. Hawaii won't vet the terrorists but they have a six-month quarantine for dogs to make sure they've had their shots. It'd be nice if we could identify the terrorists and make sure they've had at least one shot.


Michael Moore urged Democrats to declare a state of emergency until they finish investigating President Trump's ties to the Russians. Tim Allen just accused Hollywood of being as politically intolerant as Hitler's Germany. The 1970s just telephoned the 2010s and said you win, you're crazier.


The U.S. and Britain Tuesday banned air passengers from ten Muslim countries from carrying electronic devices larger than a cell phone. That was before the London attack. Today the same air passengers are banned from driving anything larger than a Smart Car once they get off the plane.


Londoners looked on in horror Wednesday as a Muslim terrorist drove over a crowd of people on the city's famed Westminster Bridge. It leads into the two Houses of Parliament. President Trump's message of condolence was stayed by a judge in Hawaii who fined the brakes manufacturer.


House Republicans faced the possibility of angry constituents in their home districts Thursday if the failed to pass a bill that replaces Obamacare and its the high premiums and high deductibles. Obamacare gives you a choice in your health care coverage. You can sell your house or buy the farm.


-- Argus Hamilton


President Trump signed a funding bill today that supports NASA's efforts to explore deep space and lay the groundwork for a human mission to Mars. [shows photo of Hillary] "Ooh, me first!" said one volunteer.


Press secretary Sean Spicer said today that the White House was optimistic about the chances of the Republican healthcare bill, but, quote, "At the end of the day, we can't make people vote." [shows photo of Hillary] "Tell me about it," said one woman.


-- Seth Meyers




(Thank you, Mistysea)

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Thanks for getting my week started the right way Pookie!! Hope you have a great week!!

My pleasure, as ever & the same to you, mass55th!

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