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Today's Toons 11/28/16


pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

Hollywood celebrities have reneged on their promise to move to Canada if Trump was elected president. No one's surprised. Hollywood stars are still angry over losing the election, angry over Trump, angry over conservatism in general, they're just not angry enough to learn the metric system.

 

Trump Tower welcomed Japan's prime minister Shinzo Abe for a meeting with Donald Trump in his New York office Thursday. It went well. Donald Trump's said it's the second foreign leader he's met in a week, but then somebody had to tell Trump that President Obama is not a foreign leader.

 

Senator Ted Cruz addressed reporters Thursday after Donald Trump met with him in Trump Tower. They really buried the hatchet. Republicans were impressed that Trump was willing to consider Ted Cruz to be Attorney General, and overlook the fact that his father assassinated JFK.

 

Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan will oppose Nancy Pelosi for Minority Leader to try to refocus Democrats on the working class and off liberal elites. In six years, Democrats have lost the House, the Senate and now the White House. Last Tuesday wasn't just an election, it was a restraining order.

 

Melania Trump let it be known Sunday that she will live in Manhattan with their son Barron while Donald lives in the White House. Bill Clinton can't stand it. Donald Trump has everything Clinton ever wanted--ten billion dollars, the Oval Office and a supermodel wife who lives out of town.

 

Donald Trump's election was met by street demonstrations and school walkouts Friday in Los Angeles, Chicago and New York City. Protesters assert that Donald Trump is going to take away women's rights, enslave minorities and kill gays. So it sounds like we finally have a Muslim president.

 

The National Retail Federation predicted a huge turnout of holiday shoppers on Thanksgiving Day when the big box stores throw open their doors. There are real shopping bargains out there if you search for them. The Clinton Foundation is offering ninety-five percent off on all speaking fees.

 

Cher told reporters she still can't decide to which country she's going to emigrate after Donald Trump's victory last week. She's definitely going somewhere. So far the best guess is China, which would cut out the middleman, seeing how eighty percent of Cher's body parts are manufactured there.

 

The Broadway cast of Hamilton lectured audience member Mike Pence during the curtain call when the VP came to see the show. Everyone was mortified. It wasn't as awkward as the night the entire cast of Cats ran for their lives because they thought Trump was going to grab them one by one.

 

Donald Trump took to Twitter Sunday to bawl out the cast of Hamliton for lecturing Trump's vice president Mike Pence at the curtain call. The ambush appeared to be a group display of bad manners. The Republican had such a bad night in the theater he was described as Lincoln-esque.

 

President Obama arrived in Peru over the weekend after stops in Greece and Germany. He was there to explain the U.S. election to allies and trading partners. It's a sentimental journey for the president in that this is the last time he'll have the opportunity to apologize for the U.S. on foreign soil.

 

Donald Trump on Sunday began hinting about his immediate policy implementations once he is sworn into office. He's vowing to cut off federal money to sanctuary cities. In addition, Donald Trump just revealed plans to build a wall around Broadway and make the cast of Hamilton pay for it.

 

Mike Pence was lectured to respect diversity during the curtain call after Hamilton! by a black actor who plays Aaron Burr. In real life Burr killed Hamilton and then he set out to the Southwest to try to found an all-white nation. If you've ever seen the cast of Oklahoma! it appears he succeeded.

 

Jesse Jackson urged President Obama to pardon Hillary Clinton for any crimes she may have committed. Thus Hillary would end her political career with a presidential pardon after Bill's ended with an impeachment. The turkeys will retire and live out the remainder of their days on a farm.

 

Burger King named a new burger after the newly elected president Donald Trump and called it the Trump Burger. The first TV commercial was a hoot. They put the Trump Burger next to a Wendy's burger but now the Trump Burger is being sued for grabbing the Wendy's burger by the buns.

 

Hillary Clinton was spotted going to a Rhode Island book store Monday accompanied by Bill, her daughter Chelsea, Chelsea's husband and the two grand-kids. The Clintons go everywhere together now. They're afraid that if one of them gets out of their sight, they will turn state's evidence.

 

Donald Trump went face-to-face with the publisher and editors of the New York Times in the newspaper's Manhattan newsroom Tuesday. Last week the newspaper promised its readers to be fairer to the president-elect. In one week they upgraded his party affiliation from Nazi to Republican.

 

Rush Limbaugh's new children's book about the courage of the Founding Fathers was banned in a Wisconsin school. It risks turning kids into little patriots. All it takes is one book honoring the founding of the United States to reverse two hundred and seventy days of public school education.

 

Donald Trump aired a video wishing the nation a Happy Thanksgiving, hoping that Americans can heal from the election. That's easy to say. Bloodshed wasn't easy to avoid yesterday with Hillary supporters and Trump supporters sitting at the same table within reach of the wine and carving knife.

 

Donald Trump blasted the Broadway cast of Hamilton for badgering Pence about the need to emulate the Founders commitment to diversity. The Founders were so into diversity. They came to America from every corner of England, and the ones with dark blue eyes always felt marginalized.

 

Donald Trump issued a statement Tuesday laying out all the White House changes he intends to initiate as president. For instance on Wednesday, President Obama pardoned a turkey. Next year you can expect President Trump to trade it in for a younger and sexier turkey with bigger breasts.

 

Donald Trump insisted he can legally run his business as president and not be in violation of U.S. conflict of interest laws. He looked it up. Last week Trump was going to prosecute Hillary for enriching herself in office, now he's going to give her the Presidential Medal of Freedom for doing it.

 

Mitt Romney emerged as a leading candidate for the post of Secretary of State on Wednesday despite Mitt's vicious attacks on Trump . It got very nasty this fall. During the general election, Mitt campaigned to defeat Trump in Utah, but in the end the voters went for the guy with three wives.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

Donald Trump claimed that he decided to settle the Trump University lawsuits so he could focus on running the country. Then he went back to tweeting insults at the cast of "Hamilton."

 

-- Jimmy Fallon

 

Donald Trump spent the weekend at his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. "Fore!" yelled Trump at a random woman he saw.

 

-- Seth Meyers

 

 

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