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Today's Toons 11/21/16


pookie18
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This Thread Brought To You By The Letters C & L:

 

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

 

President Obama gave a first class speech to reporters Wednesday in which he congratulated Donald Trump and vowed to do everything he can to help him be successful. The next day he met with Trump at the White House for a private lunch. It was just the two of them and their food tasters.

 

Fox News reported that former President Bill Clinton telephoned Donald Trump on Thursday to give him his best wishes for a successful presidency. Bill praised Trump on the phone for his assessment of America's mood. Bill called from his front yard where he was picking up all his clothes.

 

Hillary Clinton addressed reporters at her New York hotel Wednesday and she gave a gracious concession speech to America. It was a valedictory message that seemed heartfelt and emotional. Most movingly, she urged little girls to dream big and to never open any messages from Carlos Danger.

 

Hillary Clinton returned home Thursday to await her fate in Congress over its e-mail probe. Nothing is likely to happen. The best guess is, Hillary will be pardoned by Obama in exchange for a fifty-five-year-old document that she obtained from the British Colonial Office eight years ago.

 

The White House press secretary left the door open Thursday for a possible pardon of Hillary Clinton for any charges that could arise from her e-mail scandal or the Clinton Foundation donations. Millions of couples have His and Her towels. The Clintons have Impeached and Pardoned.

 

Donald Trump won the presidential election Tuesday by putting together a novel coalition of voter support never before seen. Pollsters say Donald Trump did surprisingly well with Hispanics, with working women and with middle-class voters. This gives him four years to win over Republicans.

 

New York had huge street protests Thursday against Donald Trump's election. His victory was incomprehensible to many people. In Los Angeles it had to be explained that Barack Obama has been canceled after eight seasons and replaced by a new TV series called Orange is the New President.

 

Donald Trump tweeted his praise for the political passion of protesters in New York, Chicago. Oakland and Los Angeles who staged angry demonstrations against his electoral win. There is more consolation for them. Thanks to WikiLeaks, Hillary Clinton's victory speech is available online.

 

Donald Trump agreed to Obamacare rules forcing health care plans to cover young adults on their parents plan and policy holders with pre-existing conditions. It's a total backslide. Next thing, Trump is going to promise to build a huge beautiful chalk line and he's going to make Mexico draw it.

 

The New York Times publisher issued a statement Saturday apologizing for its slanted election coverage. They'd clearly hit bottom. Rather than simply announce the results of the presidential election Wednesday, the New York Times ran the headline Trump Evicts Black Family from Their Home.

 

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel defiantly stood by Chicago's status as a sanctuary city for illegal aliens Monday. The mayor said that illegal immigrants will be safe in the city of Chicago. The illegal immigrants told the mayor to speak for himself, that they'll take their chances in Mosul.

 

Speaker Paul Ryan was unanimously re-elected Speaker of the House Tuesday. Republicans now have the House and the Senate and the White House. Any idiot could get the GOP agenda passed into law, but GOP lawmakers have proven time and time again that they aren't just any idiots.

 

NBC News aired footage of high school students in big cities walking out of class in protest of Donald Trump's election as president. The private schools are another story. At Harvard Westlake in Los Angeles the homecoming king refused to kiss the homecoming queen unless she lost some weight.

 

Donald Trump was hounded by Leslie Stahl in a CBS 60 Minutes interview last Sunday while he tried to be conciliatory. She recited the usual litany about racism, homophobia, misogyny and xenophobia. It sounded like Leslie was reading a list of all the possible side effects of testosterone.

 

Donald Trump's team was reported Monday considering a post in the Trump administration for former Alaska governor Sarah Palin. It's to head the Department of the Interior, in charge of our national parks. The bears heard the news, shook their heads and agreed they've had a good run.

 

-- Argus Hamilton

 

Last night, on "60 Minutes," Donald Trump gave his first TV interview since being elected -- and get this, he said that he will only take $1 a year as president. All part of Trump's unending commitment to never pay taxes.

 

Trump said that he would not accept the standard $400,000 salary that presidents get. That story again: Trump made his first deal as president-elect and lost almost $400,000.

 

President Obama actually said yesterday that if things get better under President Trump, he'll be the first to congratulate him. Well, technically, he'll be the second because Trump will congratulate himself first.

 

Donald Trump has reportedly asked for his adult children to get top-level security clearance so that they can see classified documents and explain them to him. Trump is trying to get top-secret security clearance for his kids, which explains why today Vladimir Putin asked Trump to adopt him.

 

Obama began his final foreign trip in Athens, Greece, while back in the White House Joe Biden held his final toga party as vice president.

 

Yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence was like, "I'm eager to discuss the issues facing our nation." While Biden said, "If you tell the waiter it's your birthday, you get a free piece of cake."

 

-- Jimmy Fallon

 

Dr. Ben Carson has reportedly told Donald Trump that he isn't interested in serving in the Trump administration. And just like at the debates if his name is called, he won't answer.

 

According to a new poll, almost 60 percent of Americans believe Donald Trump should compromise with Democrats. Like, instead of a wall at the Mexican border, maybe a beaded curtain?

 

Hillary Clinton made her first appearance since the election last night and told the crowd, "There had been a few times this past week when all I wanted to do is just to curl up with a good book or our dogs and never leave the house again." Oh, sure, NOW you're relatable.

 

-- Seth Meyers

 

Donald Trump's children are helping him transition to the White House. Right now 10-year-old Barron Trump is interviewing the next head of the NSA.

 

-- Conan

 

Rumors are circulating that Donald Trump has been telling his advisers that he plans to spend his weekends in his Trump Tower penthouse in New York City instead of the White House. I don't think that's what voters meant when they said they wanted a Washington outsider.

 

I love that Trump thinks he can just take off back to New York. Just imagine Trump on a Friday afternoon at the White House asking his national security adviser, "Hey, you think this ISIS briefing will be over by 6:00? It's just I've got a thing."

 

When Hillary Clinton found out Trump wasn't planning on staying in the White House on weekends, she was like, "Since you're not going to be there . . . "

 

-- James Corden

 

During a "60 Minutes" interview, Trump said going forward, he will be "very restrained" on Twitter and Facebook. So, the interview was taped Friday, and then on Sunday -- two days later -- he went on a tirade against The New York Times on Twitter. But he didn't use all caps! Baby steps. It's something, right? Lowercase.

 

Donald Trump today had his first official meeting with a foreign leader as president-elect. He met with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in New York. The meeting actually got off to a rocky start. Trump asked the prime minister if he could teach him how to do the crane kick from "Karate Kid."

 

Hillary Clinton was in our nation's capital last night. She confessed there were times in the past week she just wanted to curl up and never leave the house again. That's when Bill stepped in and said, "Oh, yes, she will."

 

At the end of the speech, Clinton said America is still the greatest country in the world -- and then she got on a plane and flew to Sweden, where she will live out her remaining days on Earth.

 

Donald Trump is planning a victory tour of the states he won. He's planning on holding a series of rallies starting sometime after Thanksgiving. Maybe this is where he reveals it was all a prank.

 

-- Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

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The best way to spend a Monday is with Pookie!! Thanks for the Toons, and have a great Thanksgiving week!!

You're welcome, as always & the same to you, mass55th!

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