Jump to content

[Fake] Personal message on Craigslist


Recommended Posts

SNOPES.COM says: “This piece began its life as a 6 January 2009 post to Craigslist, a forum for local classified ads and discussions in more than 550 cities. It was quickly removed by that entity, lasting no more than a day or two on that site, but nevertheless was picked up and sent around in e-mail by those it resonated with


There was no mugging: the whole tale was a work of fiction meant to help its author work off some steam from having had his home broken into. Of its creation, he says, “I mean, all it took was a couple of beers, some aggravation towards the local criminal population, and five to ten minutes at the keyboard.”


He has since seen his fanciful tale reworked to further various agendas and says of that process, “I’m starting to see people alter the hell out of it for political and other reasons, and quite frankly, that just irritates the s^#@ out of me.”


Over time, several different cities came to be named as the location of the felonious interaction, including: Savannah, Asheville, Las Vegas, Dallas, Austin, Knoxville, Georgetown, Glasgow, Scotland.”


Here is the falsified personal ad:


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-01-06, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.


I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.


First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason…my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan... She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!


I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].


After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station—on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!


I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]


I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb…after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.


The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).


In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!


Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,


  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • 1669602414
  • Create New...