Five Wonderfully Imbecilic Liberals

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Human Events:


Five Wonderfully Imbecilic Liberals
by Jason Rantz
07/31/2010


As we get closer to the election, Republicans are getting increasingly excited since their party seems on the verge of making major gains in the House and Senate, essentially gaining power to stop an out-of-control President from signing dangerous legislation.

While President Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and other Democratic leaders are making it easy for the GOP to make such an electoral comeback, there are some suspicious Democrats that are unbelievably bad for their party and shouldn’t be in the positions they currently hold. Or could it be that they’re actors from a brilliant improvisational group that landed in positions of power, participating in a massive satire of the people that the left adores?

Here are five liberals that are making things easier for Republicans to win back power in Washington:



5. Robert Gibbs, press secretary to President Obama: If Gibbs is an actor he’s really over-the-top, because it’s just not possible for a man to be so bad at something he’s being paid to be good at: communicating. Gibbs stumbles through each press briefing he gives, often times uttering “uhhhh” more times than you thought imaginable. He openly misleads reporters with half-truths, he is condescending towards the American people with his ironic lectures, and manages to bore just about anyone willing to listen. One should refuse to believe that a press secretary can be such a dullard—he must be a poorly-trained actor, right? No?

4. Michael Moore, Academy Award winning “documentary” filmmaker: Give whoever helped infiltrate the progressive movement with this ‘big boy’ a raise. While Moore’s films are seen by a mere fraction of a percent of the American public, most of the country knows who he is—and they hate him. When Moore saunters in front of a camera, the American people don’t see a brilliant filmmaker; they see a pleasantly plump pinhead that infects everything he touches with utter failure. And lucky for the GOP, Moore’s face reminds the nation of Socialist-happy “progressives.” Every time a conservative sees Moore, they’re just even more compelled to go to the polls to make sure progressives stay out of office. Instead of uniting a country for socialized medicine (something that remains unpopular, especially after it was rammed down our throats) or getting us to dump capitalism, Moore actually gets us passionate about everything his movies don’t stand for. You can’t do that on purpose, right? It must be deliberate.

3. Keith Olbermann, MSNBC anchor and all-around angry guy: Olbermann sincerely deserves an Emmy for his nightly performances on the left-wing’s station of choice. He brilliantly satirizes the arrogant, angry, ass of an anchor who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else in the room. Watching his show, the viewer gets to see what it must be like talking to these TV-titans off the air—while many keep their egos off the air, away from the viewers so they can stay in good standing with us at home, Olbermann actually goes on the air and makes it known that he’s a jerk who thinks that everything he says is fact—just because he said it.

2. Barbara Boxer, California senator: During a stand-up act a la “Whose Line Is it Anyway?” the Golden State liberal must have asked her audience, “Who should I portray?” The first answer that caught her attention was “an anti-military imbecile with a sense of entitlement!” Boxer seems to go out of her way to insult men or women in uniform. Who can forget “Ma’am-gate” when she told a brigadier admiral to call her senator, not “ma’am”? After all, she worked really hard to get elected to office—that’s nothing like putting your life on the line so that someone like Boxer has the right to run for office. And just recently, we heard Boxer comparing being a member of Congress with being in the military. After all, soldiers dodging bullets and grenades overseas have nothing on Boxer, who has to dodger her shoddy record when her Senate opponent Carly Fiorina reminds the state how poorly Boxer has represented them in the Senate.

1. Chuck Schumer, New York senator: Schumer is perhaps the easiest professional actor to identify. How? Look at the cameras. When a camera turns on for a press conference, Chuck Schumer is there. When a cable network or news reporter needs to interview a senator for their perspective on an issue, Chuck Schumer is there. When a line forms outside the chambers to talk to pool reporters, Chuck Schumer is there (and up front). Schumer treats the press like he’s a B-list actor trying to get a segment on TMZ—he’s just so happy to be in front of the camera because he’s a born performer. He’s been pretending to be a competent senator for years now.