pookie18

Today's Toons 4/20/20

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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The White House Task Force hailed Californians for obeying social distancing and facial and hand hygiene to keep the death rate low. It's not new. The more I see people walking around L.A. wearing white gloves and a face mask, the more I suspect Michael Jackson knew something we didn't.

The Labor Department reported the grim news that ten million Americans have filed for unemployment relief in the past two weeks. Private enterprise is reduced to a few essential businesses. A new poll shows most people are unimpressed by their 30-day free trial of Communism.

Nancy Pelosi announced she will form a committee to investigate President Trump's actions in handling the virus crisis. Partisanship is back. Republicans favor Pelosi's forming a committee to investigate Trump if it means that large numbers of House Democrats will meet together in person.

New York's Governor Andrew Cuomo was alternately grim and pleading in televised morning briefings, but he's never dull. There is a silver lining for him politically. Mass graves are reportedly being dug in New York, or as they call them there, Democratic voter registration camps.

President Trump gave his daily report to White House reporters and then pulled out a piece of paper that showed the results of his COVID-19 test he had taken that morning. Trump proudly announced to the reporters that he doesn't have the virus. The audience groans were audible.

The Los Angeles Times reports that Southern California was struck by what seismologists call a medium-sized earthquake Friday at seven o'clock. The media's attitude remained unshaken. Barely five minutes after the shaking stopped, CNN reported that the quake ran along Trump's Fault.

The National Distillers Association confirmed reports Tuesday that the sale of alcoholic spirits have soared fifty percent since the home quarantines began. It could be saving lives. Americans have decided that it's practically impossible to touch your face if you're holding a drink in each hand.

President Trump got emotional Tuesday, saying his goal is to save as many men and women's lives as possible with his policies. My question from L.A. is, how come it's only men and women who are dying from the COVID-19 virus? Why aren't the other eight hundred genders getting wiped out too?

The Democratic National Committee postponed its scheduled nominating convention for one month. It's best to stay safe. It was announced that it won't be until the middle of August before they hold their quadrennial Democratic National Convention, or as Bernie Sanders calls it, Passover.

President Trump agreed to take a phone call from presumptive Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden on Monday. It took a while for Trump to calm Biden down. Joe had seen the Red Cross on the side of a hospital ship in New York Harbor and he thought we were being attacked by Switzerland.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates announced Sunday his foundation will spend billions to develop a vaccine and cure for Corona Virus. This is NOT good. If Bill Gates's vaccine protects us from viruses as badly as his software does, I'm afraid herd immunity is mankind's last chance at survival.

President Trump scolded some White House reporters for always posing negative questions on Tuesday. It's plain to see that Trump and the media are never going to get along. However CNN went too far Friday when they reported that a skydiver who forgot his parachute died of Corona Virus.

The Major League Baseball Players Union on Tuesday offered to play the entire 2020 season in their Arizona spring training home fields in front of no fans, if that's what it takes to play ball. China must pay for what they've done. Baseball season has been canceled because they ate the bats.

The French government Tuesday issued an order banning all citizens of France from going outside to even exercise. This makes history. The French have surrendered to COVID-19 after just twenty-two days, breaking Army Group A's 6th Panzer Corps Division's record by two weeks.

The White House dropped hints that President Trump is planning to soon announce a gradual re-opening of U.S. businesses on May 1st. The president would select May Day. It's just like Trump to jump-start the richest economy in the world and at the same time ruin a communist holiday.

Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin reported that the stimulus checks will be mailed out. Trump announced last week that every working man and working woman in the United States will receive a check for $1,200. And just like that, there were only two genders again.

President Trump used a question at his press conference to taunt the presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden about the social distancing between him and Barack Obama all year long. Joe took the bait. This morning Biden finally came out and endorsed Obama for president.

Joe Biden made a pitch for Bernie Sanders voters, proposing lowering the Medicare age to sixty and ending college loan payments for low-income people. Bernie Sanders didn't really quit the presidential race. He just looked at the way Americans have to live today and declared victory.

House Democrats refused to consider a Senate bill helping small businesses because it didn't contain billions in cash give-outs to community banks. It never ends. If you had to sacrifice the population of one city to get rid of the virus, which city would you choose, and why Washington DC?

President Trump's recommendation of hydroxy-chloroquine to treat the virus has resulted in a cable news crusade against the drug. They're furious because doctors say it's working. If Donald Trump killed Hitler, CNN would mourn the loss of a promising Austrian artist and vegetarian.

-- Argus Hamilton

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(Thank you, Mistysea)

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Super collection !   -Ron

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Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. :-)

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Is it me, or did Argus seem to be "phoning it in" this morning?  Not that phoning it in is a bad thing what with COVID-19, but he got most of his material by watching Pookie Toons.

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3 hours ago, rdoughty said:

Super collection !   -Ron

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Glad you liked 'em, Ron!

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58 minutes ago, Reiuxcat said:

Thanks for the Monday toons Pookie. :-)

You're welcome, Rcat!

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35 minutes ago, RhoTheta said:

Is it me, or did Argus seem to be "phoning it in" this morning?  Not that phoning it in is a bad thing what with COVID-19, but he got most of his material by watching Pookie Toons.

The Argus material that I posted today were probably about a week or so old, but that's usually the case...

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GREAT START TO THE WEEK. AS LONG AS WE CAN LAUGH ( OR AT LEAST SMILE ), THE VIRUS DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.  THANKS POOKIE.

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8 minutes ago, Oralee said:

GREAT START TO THE WEEK. AS LONG AS WE CAN LAUGH ( OR AT LEAST SMILE ), THE VIRUS DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.  THANKS POOKIE.

My pleasure, Oralee! Yeah, we'll kill it via social distance smiling ;-)

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Here's the gem (for me, anyway):

Quote

President Trump is planning to soon announce a gradual re-opening of U.S. businesses on May 1st. The president would select May Day. It's just like Trump to jump-start the richest economy in the world and at the same time ruin a communist holiday.

Emphasis mine.

Thanks for the whole menu, Pookie, it really takes the sting out of another Pleasant Valley Monday!

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1 minute ago, DrPatReads said:

Here's the gem (for me, anyway):

Emphasis mine.

Thanks for the whole menu, Pookie, it really takes the sting out of another Pleasant Valley Monday!

You're welcome, as always, DrPatReads! Monday Will Never Be The Same...

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Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

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16 minutes ago, mass55th said:

Thanks Pookie!! Have a great week!!

My pleasure, as ever & the same to you, mass55th!

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