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Today's Toons 1/13/20


pookie18

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Click here for 2019 Today's Toons Favorites Voting Thread (Final Round)


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This Thread Brought To You By The Number 0:
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

TV Guide reported that all the major TV networks and cable news channels covered the House impeachment debate live. Everybody hammed it up for the cameras. To set a somber mood, all the House Democrats wore black and Nancy Pelosi had her plastic surgeon put a sad look on her face.

The Wall Street Journal reports that the New York Stock Exchange broke new records this week as the Dow Jones rose by its ten thousandth point since the day Trump was elected. Not everybody is happy. CNN hates President Trump so much they canceled their annual Year End Economic Review.

Nancy Pelosi refused to file impeachment charges the day after House Democrats impeached the president. It blocked the will of the House. Only President Trump could get impeached for obstruction of Congress and yet have Democrats so crazy that the next day Pelosi obstructs Congress.

The U.S. Census Bureau reported that a record nine hundred thousand people moved out of California to other states in the past year. It's no secret why. Californians are so overtaxed and overregulated that the only two things that are legal are smoking marijuana and living here illegally.

New York former mayor Mike Bloomberg was busted for using prison labor to make phone calls for his campaign. In Bloomberg's defense, the prisoners' crimes were meth distribution and grand theft. None of them rose to the level of drinking out of a cup larger than thirty-six ounces.

Mike Bloomberg was naturally embarrassed by revelations he had to use prison labor to fund his campaign. Just one month ago, he was the sixth richest man in the world. But after paying California advertising rates for only four weeks, he was forced to use prison labor to make ends meet.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Bernie Sanders has successfully solidified the left wing of the Democratic Party behind his ideas and proposals. McDonald's is now offering customers the Bernie Sanders Special. Everything on the menu's free but the guy behind you in line has to pay for it.

Hunter Biden's paternity suit turned up a detective report that he's now under criminal probe for fraud, money laundering and ripping off the Sioux in a counterfeit bond deal. That's right, counterfeiting the Sioux. Joe Biden must be hurt to hear that Hunter is taking after Elizabeth Warren.

-- Argus Hamilton

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14 minutes ago, Oralee said:

TWO SMILES TO START THE WEEK.  POOKIES TOONS AND THE PACKERS WON !  : -)

They may have a harder time this coming Sunday, but we shall see...

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