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Today's Toons 12/9/19


pookie18

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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

Colin Kaepernick scheduled a quarterback workout for NFL scouts to view him Saturday but that day he switched the rules and the locale and it all fell through. I once had a job interview at McDonald's, but at the last minute I told them to meet me at Popeye's. The racists wouldn't hire me!

The White House reported that President Trump scheduled a signing ceremony at the White House where he will sign a bill into law that bans torture and animal cruelty of any kind. We all know what this means. Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Adam Schiff now support animal cruelty.

The London Daily Mail reports Prince Andrew flew off to Portugal to escape the media glare over his dismissal from royal duties. On Friday Prince Andrew's birthday plans were canceled by Queen Elizabeth, but it could have been worse. They could have been canceled by Hillary Clinton.

Hunter Biden may testify about his Ukraine and China money deals after he was kicked out of the Navy for cocaine. He also has women scandals. The shame is, Democrats are so distracted by their hatred of Trump, they don't realize they FINALLY have a Biden who could get elected president.

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff gaveled the impeachment hearings to a merciful close. The Democratic Members weren't exactly trotting out their A-team last week. The way Adam Schiff stares at a camera you'd think he just got spotlighted by the game warden.

San Francisco's newly elected District Attorney made national news on election night when he announced that he will not arrest anyone for public urination inside the city limits. I hear they are remaking a TV series based on the movie On Golden Pond. It's called the Streets of San Francisco.

President Trump hosted a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House in which he honored Conan the Hero Army dog who was wounded cornering the ISIS leader to his death. Conan is trained to attack criminals. Democrats can't explain how Trump escaped again.

Michael Bloomberg, worth fifty-five billion cash, announced for the Democratic nomination for president. He was immediately dismissed by party regulars for being too old, too rich and too white. They may change their tune when Michael introduces his Medicare's On Me program.

Michael Bloomberg jumped into the presidential race, spending thirty-three million dollars on ads the first day that attack the president. Some genius consultant sold Bloomberg on the idea that if you attack Trump, it will weaken him. Some guys are always the last to get the word.

The Atlanta Constitution reported that Jimmy Carter is feeling well and was released from the hospital after brain fluid was removed. He just turned ninety-five. One look at the current field of candidates and you see why Democrats refer to Jimmy Carter as their bright new star of the future.

The National Weather Service reports a monster Arctic storm this week is blowing across the Midwest and into the Eastern Seaboard. It's throwing off everybody's daily routine. Chicago was slammed by freezing sixty-five-mile an hour winds on Wednesday, delaying hundreds of murders.

-- Argus Hamilton

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‘Democrats as experts destroying the nation’, ‘democrats create jobs’, & ‘Lizzie’s farewell to Kamala’ made my day- thanks Pookie!

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7 hours ago, Hauntess said:

‘Democrats as experts destroying the nation’, ‘democrats create jobs’, & ‘Lizzie’s farewell to Kamala’ made my day- thanks Pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Hauntess!

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