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Today's Toons 10/28/19


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This Thread Brought To You By The Letter T:
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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

The White House Counsel wrote House Democrats Tuesday saying an impeachment inquiry without a House vote to impeach is invalid. The comedy continues. Joe Biden demanded that Trump be impeached for questioning the honesty of the Eastern European billionaire Hunter Biden.

North Carolina police arrested three workers at a senior living home for staging a Fight Club for dementia patients. They coaxed old people with no memories into beating each other up. The three fired workers have just been hired to moderate the next Democratic presidential debates.

Hillary Clinton kept dropping hints she might run for president during TV interviews plugging her new book about Gutsy Women. Over the weekend, I saw a photo of Hilary standing on a hill gazing at a cemetery. You couldn't tell if she was saying hello to the voters or goodbye to the witnesses.

The NBA is catching a lot of grief from fans for apologizing to the government of China after the Houston Rockets' GM tweeted support of the Hong Kong protestors. The NBA isn't the only U.S. brand beholden to Beijing. Rumor has it that Chinese restaurants now sell cats, dogs and Bidens.

The Democratic presidential candidates squared off in a hot debate where Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders jostled for airtime amid the noise of seven other candidates onstage. The day before, Joe Biden announced his new anti-corruption plan. He's disowning his son.

New York City had a huge Columbus Day parade along Fifth Avenue where a million New Yorkers celebrate their Italian heritage. In many states, the Columbus Day Monday has been renamed Indigenous Peoples Day. That's the day when Elizabeth Warren is only 1/1024th angry.

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez teared up during a speech Monday declaring that she won't have children because this planet is so doomed. I get the message. If I'm oblivious to climate change I'm going to die, but if I'm obsessed with climate change, I will die more meaningfully.

Nancy Pelosi arranged for Trump's impeachment hearing to be held in the House Intelligence Committee behind closed doors, allowing no defense lawyer present. Trump's not allowed to produce any evidence or any witnesses and it's done in secret. That'll teach Trump to threaten our democracy.

Hillary Clinton and her daughter Chelsea are doing talk shows to plug their book about Gutsy Women. This week Chelsea Clinton is being urged to run for an open congressional seat next year in New York. She has tremendous name recognition and if she can overcome that, she could win.

The Pew Research Center released a survey of American voters and found the partisan divide is sharper and angrier than ever before. It's driving people crazy, so you can imagine what it's doing to crazy people. I'm no longer speaking to my imaginary friend due to our political differences.

Turkey delayed their war with the Kurds in Northern Syria for four days after U.S. intervention. Both the Turks and the Kurds were desperate to have Trump on their side. At one point you couldn't tell if the both armies were digging trenches or looking for dirt on Joe and Hunter Biden.

-- Argus Hamilton

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(Thank you, Mistysea)

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