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Today's Toons 9/30/19


pookie18

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In Case You Missed It Dept.:

National Football League executives were stunned Sunday by the sparse fan attendance at the home opening games in Carolina, Miami and Cleveland. It looked pathetic. CNN reasoned that their stadiums were half-empty because fans are protesting that no one has signed Colin Kaepernick.

Florida's attorney general announced Thursday she'll challenge the legality of a referendum to legalize the use of marijuana, despite how well it's doing for other states' revenue. Colorado is making so much money on pot sales, they can now afford a cocaine habit.

The Democratic National Committee hosted the Democratic presidential candidates' debate in Houston. TV viewers got to watch three hours of people standing behind a lectern and reciting liberal talking points. It was like the Emmy Awards show except no one's wearing a tuxedo.

ABC News anchors moderated the Democratic presidential debate in Houston with one candidate after the other promising you free health care, free child care, free college, all the way to eternal life. How far left are this year's candidates? The gay Episcopalian is the conservative.

Houston held a Democratic debate where Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren told how they'll defeat Trump. They remind me of the big game hunter ruminating in his trophy room over exactly where to mount the head of the tiger he was planning to shoot. The tiger has other ideas.

New York held its annual remembrance of the World Trade Center attack on September 11, covered live on TV. The occasion was an intersection of history and opportunity for CNN. President Trump was at the World Trade Center ceremony and CNN did everything but fly into him to bring him down.

Tropical Storm Humberto missed hitting the Bahamas as it skirted northward well off the shores of Florida. It appears that high pressure will prevent Humberto from entering the U.S. AOC is calling the high pressure system racist and demanding that Trump grant asylum to Humberto.

The Emmy Awards will be telecast live from The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills on CBS Sunday night. Television viewers will get to hear all the acceptance speeches from the winners of Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director and Best Producer. The Republican response will be Monday.

President Trump vowed to use the EPA to clean up the streets of San Francisco of all the filth and homeless litter and drug-cut water. The media just snarled. Trump could come running out of a burning building carrying a baby he rescued and CNN would rip him for appearing in blackface.

-- Argus Hamilton

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‘Government listening in on a 3rd can & strong phone tap’, ‘Obama awarded the Nobel prize for his cool blackness with the hope he’ll do something worthwhile’, & all the ones of dems blaming republicans for their (dems’) crimes were likable- thanks, Pookie!

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6 hours ago, Hauntess said:

‘Government listening in on a 3rd can & strong phone tap’, ‘Obama awarded the Nobel prize for his cool blackness with the hope he’ll do something worthwhile’, & all the ones of dems blaming republicans for their (dems’) crimes were likable- thanks, Pookie!

You're welcome, as always, Hauntess!

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