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Thoughts from the ammo line

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Scott Johnson

Sept. 13 2019

Ammo Grrrll waves BYE BYE, WALMART, BYE BYE. She writes:

Et tu, Walmart? Seriously? Do you have no idea who your customer base is?

Well, whatever. I’m done. It’s a shame, too, because Walmart is the definite Big Dog shopping emporium in our Dusty Little Village......(Snip)

I intend to deliver this “resignation” as a customer to the local Walmart management and to see that it gets to the national management as well. But I have – like my hero, Columbo – just “one more question” before I go. Well, actually, several. Like Columbo.

• When you offend and betray your loyal customer base, do you honestly believe that the elites whose behinds you are kissing, are going to pick up the slack? Do you think any of them would deign to be sighted in a Walmart?

• Please list every mass murderer who has purchased his ammo at Walmart. Show your work. Receipts required. Just like with returns.

• Please publish the total number of rounds you have sold to normal non-criminal customers over the decades who have NOT shot anyone, ever. Feel free to round it off to the nearest trillion. Compare and contrast with the lunatics’ purchases, if any.

• What are you planning to do about the ice cream-lickers who probably pose a much more serious health threat? Do you recommend commonsense tongue removal?

Maybe the current cowardly, craven CEO will resign or be fired. Maybe I will return. But not any time soon. Oh, if you only knew what a dedicated impulse buyer you are losing, famous for going in for three items and coming out with twenty-three. Ask anybody who knows me.

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